Hotblooded
by purrfectly679
Summary: The Kyuubi wants a mate. And 'she' will do anything to acquire one, even if it DOES mean resorting to the most low-down and deceitful form of seduction... Romance, conspiracies and tactical manipulation galore. SasuNaru.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. Must you spite me all the time?  
**Title**: Hot blooded - The Prologue  
**Author**: Purrfectly679 - e-mail for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.  
**Rating**: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x ? , Sasu x ?  
**Notes**: OK I know I kinda hinted that I would write a humour fic... But it was much harder than anticipated . So I decided to do a normal romance instead lol. It's quite sarcastic at times - not meant to be funny really lol. It's also a little more light-hearted compared to my other fics, but hey! That could and probably would change later on...

And if you wonder where I got the idea for this fic from, blame it on reading **too many** Draco Malfoy Veela fics haha!! (HP books)

Finally - this chapter is dedicated to **kayoko **- thanks for the Gravitation dj's and all the online advice! And thanks especially for being such a great email pal :)

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x--x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

_It all started one cold and windy night…_

Wait, no – actually, it was a rather nice and quiet night… Some might call it a peaceful night – you know, one of those infrequent ones where you don't wake up wanting to eradicate the entire planet of those damn screeching cats… (But that's a different story.) In other words, it was the perfect night for the perfect ninja to get a perfect night's sleep…

But… Alas - we all know that perfection does not exist!

Hence, 5 minutes later…

_Knock knock! _

…

_Knock knock knock knock knock! _

…

_Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock - _

Sasuke threw open his front door and glared dangerously at his silver-haired sensei. Or more accurately – his _former_ silver-haired sensei… Standing outside his front door. At 3am in the morning.

"If you want to train, then you're 18 hours too late…" he growled, extremely irritated at his stupid teacher for interrupting his much needed rest, especially since he had _just_ gotten back from a 5 day mission…

A 5 day mission with severe lack of sleep!

"Neh… I'm hurt Sasuke-kun… Maybe I'm just 6 hours early, ne?" Kakashi grinned happily.

"Don't be stupid…" Sasuke muttered scathingly, his expression set into a permanent scowl. "You and early don't belong in the same sentence…"

"Aww I'm hurt…" the silver-haired jounin pouted, albeit un-cutely.

The dark-haired boy held back the urge to vomit all over the older man's shoes. No wonder why his ex-teacher was _always_ late for their team meetings… He was _way_ too happy and _way_ too energetic for 3am Monday morning… It made him wonder what time the erratic shinobi _usually_ went to bed…

Or whether he went to bed at all…

"So why the hell are you here?" Sasuke demanded in aggravation, unfazed by the fact that he had just thrown his infamous and impassive demeanour to the wind. Maybe he could _act_ quite patient when needed to be, but god – he had never been tested at 3am before…!

"Ahh… Maybe I just wanted to see my favourite Uchiha…"

"Cut the bullshit…" the dark-haired boy suppressed the impulse to massage his temples in exasperation. God, sometimes he wondered how the hell the silver-haired man qualified to be a teacher… Did he somehow bribe the educational authorities or something?! Or were the people on the committee just extremely blind _and_ stupid?

"Ah fine… Tsunade-sama told me to collect you…"

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched sporadically as he forced himself to remain calm. "At 3am in the morning?"

"Well… Ah…" Kakashi had the dignity to look sheepish. "I kinda got sidetracked and stuff so… I'm kinda a _little_ late…"

"Well… Couldn't you have waited till morning?" the Uchiha muttered through clenched teeth, even as he smothered the intense urge to violently throttle his sensei. Surely he wouldn't be judged nor sentenced _too_ harshly, especially since the victim _was_ the silver-haired man… Anyway - it wasn't as if anyone actually _liked_ him…

Hell – he might even get an award or something!

"Ah… You see… She said it was _extremely_ important… And vital… And she emphasised the important part… Twice…"

The raven-haired boy felt his head start to throb dangerously. "If it was that important, then why the hell are you so late?"

Kakashi opened his mouth, as if about to explain –

"Actually, no… I don't want to know."

The copy ninja simply grinned.

-x- -x- -x-

Sasuke sat tiredly outside Tsunade's office as fingers twitched in impatience. It was now currently 3.15am – and he seriously felt as if he had just crawled out of his own grave. He glared hatefully at the thought of his sensei – how dare that moron drag him off his front doorstep _without_ even giving him time to change out of his pyjamas…?!

Gah… Oh well – at least no one had seen him… He shuddered in fear as thoughts of the villagers laughing hysterically at his baby blue Pokémon pj's crept into his mind… He pouted defensively. So what if he wore embroidered Pikachu clothing to bed? They were on sale! And he was a ninja for god's sake – he didn't have time to waste, especially on silly mundane things such as shopping…!

Shaking his head in trepidation, the dark-haired boy began to wonder just _why_ the Hokage wanted to see him… What could be _so_ important that he had to be untimely dragged out of bed for? At 3am nonetheless?

"Yo!"

Sasuke sighed as '_said moron_' made his presence known – complete with a fresh new black eye. He glared at the copy ninja in annoyance. "Just what the hell is that?"

"Ahh… You see…" the silver haired man seemed to fidget on the spot. "Tsunade-sama was a _little…_ uhmm… Irritated when I woke her up…"

The Uchiha rolled his eyes, before slumping noisily in defeat. He was too tired for this… His brain was too tired to handle all the stupidity… Might as well give up while ahead, right?

"But… Aah… She'll see you now… And… Uhmm… A word of warning…" Kakashi trailed off, before a sheepish grin plastered all over his face.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in weariness.

"Don't comment on the state of her hair…" the jounin whispered solemnly, before disappearing with a quiet '_poof_.'

-x- -x- -x-

Tsunade-sama – to put it bluntly – was not very pleased.

"I don't know what the hell is wrong with your teacher…" she yelled, oblivious to the fact that it _was_ 3.15 in the morning, and that most _normal_ people within Konoha were _trying_ to get a decent night of sleep. "But for god's sake – even _retards_ know the meaning of respect…! So what the hell does that make him?!"

Sasuke tried _not_ to fall asleep in his seat as the legendary Sannin (with the very messy hair) rambled on and on… And on… _And on…_ After all – he had heard variations of this speech many, _many_ times… And no, he wasn't the slightest bit concerned about his sensei's eccentricity…

"Sasuke-kun?"

Nor his lack of responsibility…

"Sasuke?"

And he _definitely_ didn't care about his incompetence…

"SASUKE ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!"

The Uchiha blinked in bewilderment. Huh? Did he miss something?

"Look…" the fifth Hokage murmured through clenched teeth, as she looked Sasuke straight in the eyes with an eerie sense of calm severity. "You probably want to be here just as much as I do… So let's get the formalities out of the way, and get straight to the point, so we can both go back to bed…"

The raven-haired boy merely nodded mutely, as tried his hardest not to compare Tsunade-sama's fluffy blonde hair to that of a well puffed baby chick.

"Basically… You just came back from a mission, ne?"

"H-Hai…"

"Well – you have now just been removed from all duties until further notice."

Sasuke's eyes bulged out of his head as he snapped upright within his seat. "NANI?!"

"That means no missions, no mission-reports, no weekly patrol - "

"I know what that means!" the Uchiha almost yelled, his expression contorted into one of semi panic – which was really, _really_ unexpected from the usually stoic boy. "But why?! Have I done something wrong?!"

"No… no…!" the fifth Hokage was quick to placate the half hysterical, half fuming boy. "We… Just… Have a somewhat… Uhmm… Call it a _long-term_ mission if you will…"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "I didn't sign up for any long-term missions…"

"Yeh… Well… Something's come up… And we think you're the best person for the job…" Tsunade-sama had the dignity to look sheepish, which immediately made the dark-haired boy feel uneasy…

What kind of 'job' could be _so_ important that he had to be dragged out of bed at 3am for? And forcefully released from all duties nevertheless?

"Well… As you probably know, Naruto is due back from his 2-month assignment tomorrow at noon… We want you to collect him, and to take him back to your house. Look after him and make sure that - "

"You want me to baby-sit him?!" the Uchiha interrupted incredulously, his discomfort already increasing exponentially at the mere mention of the blonde-haired idiot. Naruto?! How the hell was Naruto involved?!

"Well… Yes."

Sasuke immediately fell off his seat, and crashed to the floor with an almighty BANG. Baby-sit? _Baby-sit Naruto_? Was this some kind of sick joke?! And why the hell would the hyperactive prat _need_ looking after anyway? After all - it wasn't as if he _could_ get ill or injured - the Kyuubi's impressive healing abilities immediately eliminated all of _those_ concepts…

And judging by the Hokage's stipulations, this person had to be off duty and available 24/7… Which comes to the crucial point - just _why the hell_ would Naruto _need_ someone around _24/7_?! Sasuke shook his head wearily as he slowly climbed back onto his seat – too much in one night – he couldn't handle it anymore…!

It only took him a split-second to make up his mind.

"No."

To his credit, Tsunade-sama actually looked quite stunned at his adamant refusal. But the Uchiha didn't care – damn his cool demeanour and usual politeness to hell!

He wasn't stupid enough to get himself involved with _anything_ that concerned a certain loud-mouthed klutz! Gah – just _thinking_ about that blonde haired idiot was enough to start giving him a migraine…!

"Sasuke-kun…" the blonde-haired woman hesitated, as if choosing her words very_, very_ carefully… "This _isn't_ a question of your approval…"

Sasuke's eyes bulged out of his head for the second time that night. "NANI?!" Didn't _all_ shinobi's have a choice as to whether they wanted to accept a long-term mission or not?! Why was this any different?! This was _blatant_ 'employment inequity!' Where were the damn fair employment unions when you needed one?!

"I'm sorry Sasuke, but this is extremely important," Tsunade-sama's voice was grave and serious. "That 2-month mission we sent him on… Did you hear anything about it?"

It was a miracle that the Uchiha was even able to breathe - let alone answer - given that he was still trapped within a volatile state of shock. The injustice of the whole situation – it just wasn't fair! But being the perfect professional that he was, the dark-haired boy forced himself to stay focussed upon the current issues in hand… After all – the Hokage was still the Hokage… And the Hokage demanded a certain level of respect.

Even if she _did_ look like a chicken.

"Yes…" Sasuke answered slowly and carefully, his wariness apparent upon his face. Even though the two ex-rivals hardly ever worked together anymore, they still saw each other around the village every now and again. "I heard it was a reconnaissance assignment or something…"

"Yes well… It was all fabricated."

If possible, Sasuke's expression became even more bewildered. Eh? A fabricated mission?! What the hell was she on about now?!

"You see… We had to… _remove_ him away from the general population… So that we could study him more effectively -"

"Study?!" the dark-haired boy interrupted weakly. Sure he had always thought Naruto was some kind of animal – but to be assigned a 'fabricated mission' just to be _studied_?! This was beginning to sound too weird to be true…

This just _had_ to be a dream!

"Well…" Tsunade-sama sighed. "What I'm about to tell you is strictly confidential, and you must promise not to disclose this information to another living soul, unless permitted by me. Do you understand?"

Sasuke suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Who the hell was he going to tell anyway? His pet fish? "Yes, I understand," he answered dully.

"Well… It all started 3 months ago…"

-x- -x- -x-

Throughout the Hokage's speech, Sasuke's glare rapidly increased in intensity. The situation was _beyond_ getting ridiculous – was he actually supposed to _believe_ this nonsense?! God – he was Uchiha Sasuke – he wasn't _that_ gullible damn it! Maybe this was some kind of test? Some kind of new exam?

But damn it – why the hell did Naruto have to be involved?

"So do you understand the situation now?" Tsunade murmured, even as she rubbed her eyes in irritated sleepiness. It was strange – he had never expected 'her' to be one to play practical jokes… Naruto yes… But the Hokage herself? He sighed in defeat - _Well… You learn new things every day… _

"So basically," the dark-haired boy muttered sarcastically. "The Kyuubi inside of Naruto is female… And his puberty phase somehow caused her to prematurely enter her mating season?"

"Well yes…"

"That's not possible," Sasuke interjected in annoyance. Ah that must be it! Maybe this was some kind of test on demon characteristics!! Ha ha ha!

A small smile graced the blonde's woman's lips. "And why not, Sasuke-kun?"

"Firstly – factual evidence from the past shows that humans and demons have never bonded nor connected outside of the seal. Unless there happened to be a life threatening cause or situation, the demon will continue to remain dormant and separated from the human host," the dark-haired boy half stated, half recited with an almost bored tone. "And since puberty can hardly be defined as life-threatening, whatever hormonal transformation Naruto has or will experience, will NOT affect the Kyuubi. What you're saying is technically impossible."

The Hokage raised an eyebrow in mild curiosity. This Sasuke kid sure knew his stuff – although he was missing one extremely crucial factor… Naruto wasn't like 'everyone else' – his tie with the Kyuubi had been growing exponentially ever since the seal was performed… And at the moment, she was willing to bet that their connection surpassed any other man-demon relationship in the past… She wouldn't be surprised if one day the two beings completely merged…

_That Naruto… Always so full of surprises… _

"And secondly…" this time, the Uchiha managed a small smug smile. "What you explained isn't possible because Naruto hasn't entered puberty yet. And I doubt he ever will."

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "Look, we wouldn't be making such a fuss about it if we didn't think it was important. And no matter what you say, we're still going to take precautions."

"But this is a waste of time and money!"

"It may be so…" the Hokage answered as a matter-of-factly. "But what if it wasn't?"

"Well what's the worst that could happen?" Sasuke demanded stubbornly. Gah why was Naruto so damn troublesome?!

"Ah I'm glad you finally asked…" Tsunade's eyes glinted predatorily, sending unwanted shivers down the dark-haired boy's spine. Gehh… What was she up to now?! "Well… Do you know what happens when a fox goes into heat?"

Sasuke pondered the question for a split second, before answering effortlessly off the top of his head. "Increased energy, raised metabolism… Possible bouts of insomnia, restlessness and increased sexual cravings -"

"Bingo," the blonde woman smirked knowingly.

The Uchiha frowned. Although the thought of Naruto having _any_ kind of sex life made him feel extremely nauseous, he was sure the idiot could handle it. He could suppress the symptoms, right?! He HAD to suppress the symptoms!! Otherwise… Otherwise it'll jus be _too_ gross!! "How difficult could it be? He's suffered much worse!"

"I'm not finished! Now… Think of a demon fox… One with unrestrained power and energy, and the relentless desire to cause destruction and pain… What does that spell out for you?"

Black eyes blinked blankly. Damn – maybe this was more dangerous than he had originally thought? "You think that the fox will try to take control of Naruto's body?"

"No, no, no…" Tsunade shook her head vehemently. Why does everyone always underestimate the loud-mouthed brat? To keep the Kyuubi under control took a lot more willpower than some people seemed to take for granted…!

Sasuke looked on in mild puzzlement.

"OK imagine you were the fox, and you were kept from the thing you loved the most… How would you feel?"

The raven-haired boy frowned. How the hell did this question having anything to do with anything?! "I guess I'd be a bit angry…"

"Ok, what if there was absolutely _nothing _you could do about it?"

"Hmm… Frustrated I suppose…"

"Bingo!" The Hokage's eyes adopted that unnatural gleam again, causing goose pimples to rise up upon Sasuke's arms. "Now how would you help _relieve_ some of that frustration?"

"I'd go training," the Uchiha answered automatically. What a stupid question. Training was the universal answer to everything! A legendary Sannin - of all people - should've _definitely_ known that!!

"No, you're the fox remember?" Tsunade seemed slightly aggravated, causing more uncomfortable prickles to crawl down Sasuke's neck. "You can't go training – in fact, you can't do anything that involves fighting nor combat."

The dark-haired boy paused in silent contemplation, before his eyes bulged out of his head once again.

"You mean he's going to start running around and screwing all the foxes he can find?!" the Uchiha half gasped, half choked out. Indecent images were now rapidly forming within his mind, and he began to feel more than a little sick. Naruto with a red fox… Naruto touching the red fox… Naruto with his trousers down… Naruto… ARGHHH _Nooooo_!! _His poor little mind! The corruption - it hurts!! It hurts!! _

"No baka!" the Hokage yelled angrily, as a vein started to pulse sporadically at her right temple. Sasuke might've been offended at being called a baka, if he weren't feeling so damn disgusted. "Naruto's human – he's human damn it!! In other words, he's going to go round screwing other humans! Get it?!"

The dark-haired boy frowned, albeit weakly - the image of Naruto with other girls was even worse! "But that's not possible either… You see – all the girls in the village find Naruto revolting… Besides – I don't think the baka knows what 'sex' is…"

Tsunade-sama suppressed the urge to throttle the Uchiha. Wasn't this boy supposed to be intelligent?! He was supposed to be a genius damn it! God, if this was the standard of the village, then maybe she should just give up now and retire! In fact – if this was the foundation of Konoha's future, maybe she should migrate ASAP!!

"Sasuke…" she muttered through clenched teeth. "Have you _seen_ Naruto recently?"

The dark-haired boy frowned. The last time he saw the blonde idiot was about 2 months ago… And to be honest, he couldn't recall noticing any dramatic transformations between Naruto-now, and Naruto from 4 years back… Sure the hyperactive klutz was a little taller, a little broader… Yes, he lost his baby-fat, and so what if he had a decent body? His hair was still wildly untameable, his eyes still that indescribable blue…

And most importantly, he was still damn annoying and irritable as hell!

"In case you haven't noticed," Tsunade-sama muttered, with a glare. "Naruto has grown up to be a very fine young man. In fact – he's been becoming more and more popular with the female inhabitants of the village…"

Sasuke's expression remained blank, effectively concealing his underlying shock. Naruto… Popular? With girls? Was that even _possible_?! Was everyone on drugs?!

"OK… So he's going to go around and screw all the girls?"

"Yes!" the blonde woman exclaimed with a huge sigh of relief. "You finally understand!"

The Uchiha remained nonplussed. Even if it was disgusting, Naruto's sex life had absolutely nothing to do with him! And he was intending to keep it that way! "Ok… And the problem with that is…?"

The Hokage glared fiercely.

"Ok , ok, just hear me out, cos I'm still a little confused…" Sasuke muttered. Geez – women could be scary when they wanted to be. "So you're telling me that Naruto going through puberty has somehow triggered a parallel response in the Kyuubi's spirit, causing the fox to go into heat… And that due to the suppressed destructional urges of the demon, the accumulated frustration has somehow manifested into intense lust, and sexual desire…?"

"Yes." The answer was short and flippant.

"Ok, and now I ask you again - what does that have to do with me?"

"You're going to look after him!" Tsunade answered naturally, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. "Someone has to be there, in case something happens… After all, we don't know the full extent of his situation at the moment, so we need someone with him at all times…"

"But why me?"

"Because you're the closest to him!"

"Why not Sakura? Or Kakashi-sensei?"

"Sakura's a girl… And Kakashi…" the blonde woman trailed off, as her eyebrow twitched erratically. "Well… You of all people should know about your sensei's incompetence. And knowing that retard, he'd probably try to encourage Naruto's behaviour."

"How long is his syndrome going to last?" He was beginning to panic now…

"Don't know," the female Sannin smiled sweetly.

Sasuke sighed pitifully. "And if I say no?"

"Then goodbye ninja career!" Tsunade smirked, with unrestrained glee. Ah – sometimes being Hokage could be _sooo_ rewarding!!

"So when do I pick him up?" the Uchiha muttered, shoulders slumped in defeat. Great – just great…! Now he had to spend days, weeks… Maybe _months_ with a sexually frustrated blonde idiot. Gah – if he was annoying normally, then imagine how irritating he'd be if he were frustrated?! He had a sinking feeling that his life was suddenly going to get a little more difficult…

Little did he know just how much.

-x- -x- -x-

At exactly 12 noon the following day, a very irritable Uchiha Sasuke sat glaring at Konoha's entrance. The blonde idiot was late. He scanned the surrounding area and found absolutely nothing. Great, just great…! Damn the Hokage for keeping him up till 6am going over their stupid mission parameters…! Could life get any more annoying?!

He sighed in frustration as he recited the 3 most important rules within his head, even though he was fairly confident he knew them all off by heart.

_'Number 1: No one, not even Naruto, is to know about the true situation.' _

To be honest, he found that rule rather stupid. Surely the idiot had a right to know what was happening to him?

_'Number 2: Naruto must not participate in any form of sexual endeavours until more information is gathered.' _

Sasuke grimaced distastefully. That wasn't going to be hard right? Like anyone would _willingly_ sleep with the loud-mouthed moron! And gah – getting involved with the blonde's sex life was definitely _not_ his idea of a pleasant assignment.

_'Number 3: Naruto must be kept away from the female population at night.'_

That was supposedly when the 'urges' were at their most powerful – especially on nights with a full moon. Something to do with lunacy and tides – something ridiculous like that.

Gah – never before had he ever been so glad to be male-

"SASUKE!!"

The Uchiha fell over onto his back as a blur of blonde and bright orange suddenly tackled him head on. Gah – so fast! Where did he-?!

"Yo Sasuke!" Naruto grinned down at his ex-rival from atop of him, his bright blue eyes shining teasingly. "You miss me?"

"What?!" the dark-haired boy spluttered incredulously. What the hell was the idiot on about? Miss him?! Never!! Was he crazy?!

"I asked if you missed me!" the blonde grinned jovially, still straddling the Uchiha's lap in a rather provocative way. This did not go unnoticed by the taller boy.

"Get off me baka!" Sasuke muttered angrily, even as he tried to wriggle his way out from under the hyperactive boy. Gah, when did the fool get so damn heavy anyway?! And what if someone saw them like this?! They might start thinking something! Che – did the blonde have neither self preservation nor dignity?!

"Aww, you're no fun!" Naruto pouted cutely as he hopped off the dark-haired boy's lap, brushing intently against his groin in the process. Sasuke tried to ignore the sudden loss in body warmth, even as his heart pounded furiously within his chest. What the hell was happening now? Why was he feeling so… so… _uncomfortable_? And so… so… so damn _hot_?

"Uhm… Sasuke…?"

Black eyes snapped alert in shock, as the dark-haired boy stumbled unsteadily onto his feet. Naruto… What was Naruto… _Was Naruto doing something to him_? Something didn't feel right… Something… _Everything_ felt unbalanced…

"Uhm… Sasuke… Are you ok? You're looking kinda ill…"

No… He wasn't ok… He felt unstable, disorientated… It was hot… When did it suddenly get so hot…?

"Eh, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha flinched visibly as the blonde boy took a curious step forward. He felt as if he were drowning, and yet deep inside he still welcomed the pull of the current. His pulse and breathing rate had both rapidly increased… Everything felt suffocating, overwhelming… And yet so damn exciting and _intense_ at the same time…

"Er… Sasuke?"

Those eyes… When did they…? _When did they ever become so blue?_ And those lips… Those soft, pink lips… Slightly parted in invitation… As if begging to be touched… _As if begging to be kissed_…

_If only he leaned in a little closer, he could just about reach those - _

"ARGHHH!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU BAKA!"

"WHAT?!" A furious and confused Naruto entered the shouting contest.

"WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME?! YOU TRYING TO COP A FEEL OR SOMETHING?!"

"Kyaaaaaa!! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL BASTARD!"

And so the insults continued, until a rather red-faced Sasuke stomped away, with a persistent and irate blonde tailing him close behind. Naruto had sure learnt some rather creative swear words in the past few years, and he wasn't afraid to demonstrate his new found skill either…!

But more surprisingly… Just what the hell had _almost_ happened? Did he almost _kiss_ the blonde-haired idiot? And why the fuck would he do that?! The mere _thought_ of touching the moron made him sick to the stomach, let alone the thought of kissing him!

The dark-haired boy suppressed a sigh as he continued to walk towards the village centre. The severe lack of sleep and all the talk about hormones must be starting to affect his mentality. Yeh that _had_ to be it… Why else would he even _consider_ kissing the blue eyed prat? His lips were horribly chapped, and he'd probably still somehow taste disgustingly like ramen (even if he hadn't eaten it for days…) He was almost _certainly_ a terrible kisser, probably even worse than he was 4 years ago…

But then again… Maybe his lips would still be as soft? And still just as swe-

'GAHHH!!' Sasuke screamed hysterically within his mind. It was official!! He had cracked – his mind had completely cracked!! Something was terribly wrong with his brain!! And yet, throughout all the madness, he still had a sinking feeling that things were going to become much, _much_ worse…

Little did he know just how much.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Whee that was just the prologue lol. It gets much more 'fun' later on haha.Of course, our beloved Sasuke-kun won't have it that easily... _Obviously_ he's going to be attracted to Naruto... Duh!! and our lil blonde will continue to play the oblivious temptress! Oh, and did I mention that loads of other people will be vying for our kitsune's attention?? Ooh Sasuke's got competition!! =p

So whatdya think? Carry the idea on? Or forget it and start something else??

Ooh wanna join the mailing list? then mail me lol. ;) or leave me a review with ya email in it!! Ja ne!


	2. Moving In

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. [cries]  
**Title**: Hot blooded - chapter 1: Moving In  
**Author**: Purrfectly679 - e-mail for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.  
**Rating**: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x ? , SasuNaru  
**Notes**: Wow... Thank you guys for all the support!! [starry-eyed] I really, really appreciate it, na no da!! [glomps everyone, before showering reviewers with POCKY! lol]

I hope you guys enjoy this chapter - dedicated to **Naito Kiseki**, for being another great e-mail pal!! :)

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Naruto smirked pompously as he quietly followed the dark-haired boy towards the centre of the village. He had been giving Sasuke the silent treatment for a whole 2 minutes now, and was actually feeling rather proud of himself… The treatment should definitely annoy the moron loads – in fact, he should be cracking just about now!! After all – that arrogant bastard probably wasn't very used to people ignoring him, ha ha ha!!

But then again… He had to admit it was nice… Seeing Sasuke again and everything… How long had it been since they last properly spoke anyway? 6 months? 7 months ago? To be honest, even if it _did_ sound a little sadistic, he actually kinda _missed_ their mutual arguments and insults. It just made life that little bit more fascinat-

_Wait a minute…!! …Sasuke…?! _

"Sasuke, what the hell are you doing here?!" Full blown suspicion suddenly struck the dumbfounded blonde like thunderbolt from above.

"I came to pick you up, you baka! What does it look like I'm doing?" the Uchiha half muttered, half growled impatiently. If Naruto had paid any attention at all, he would've realised that the taller boy seemed slightly more high strung and edgier than usual…

But then again, he might've just dismissed it as a figment of his own imagination.

Naruto stopped walking and frowned. "But _why_ are you picking me up?" Sasuke was supposed to hate him, right…? OK, ok – maybe he was being _slightly_ unfair… Maybe 'hate' was an inaccurate portrayal…

'_Despise'_ seemed the more appropriate term!

"It was explained in the letter." The Uchiha halted mid step and glared fiercely, while simultaneously tapping his foot in impatience. Yes, our Sasuke was an advanced multi-tasker! Even his aura seemed to scream '_Why are you asking me such an idiotic question, you stupid baka?!" _

A cute frown flickered over the blonde's face – unfortunately for him, he obviously lacked any sort of intuition. "What letter?"

"The letter Tsunade-sama sent you."

"Oh…"

Satisfied with the answer for the time being, Sasuke resumed his initial walking pace.

_Until… _

"Oh crap."

The dark-haired boy immediately spun around to face Naruto, a permanent scowl set firmly upon his features. It was evident that his tolerance level – or lack of one – was really starting to wear thin. "What now?!"

The blonde grinned sheepishly, before holding up a finger in justification. "Ah… I kinda used it as firewood…"

"NANI?!" Sasuke yelled, his eyebrows twitching erratically. "Why the HELL would you do that, you baka?! You DON'T burn things from the Hokage!! What if it had been something important?!"

"How did I know it was from the old hag?" Naruto half grumbled, half sulked. Sheesh – why was the Uchiha getting so worked up about it anyway?

"It had the Konoha seal on it, you moron…!"

"Yeh, but I ran out of firewood!" the blonde countered defensively.

"That's not the point!"

"But it was cold! Anyway, it's not like it was anything really important!! Just tell me why you're picking me up!"

Sasuke glared irritably, before sighing in exasperation. "You're living with me now."

A tense silence filled the air…

"NANI?!"

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair for the umpteenth time, as he desperately tried to ignore the blonde's shill screeching. How it was possible for a small person to make such a loud noise was _waay_ beyond his mental capacity…

He sighed wearily. To be honest, the 'situational excuse' that Tsunade-sama invented last night wasn't being accepted as effortlessly as they had first hoped. Then again, he had to admit that it wasn't the _best_ idea in the world… In fact, to put it bluntly, it was _more_ than a little… well… _crap_.

"Look, for the last time, don't ask me!" he muttered despairingly. "I don't know why your apartment was repossessed!! All I know is that you're supposed to live with me for the time being, so stop shrieking in my ear goddamn it!"

"But Sasukeee!!" Naruto half yelled, half sobbed in a state of frenzied hysteria. "That's my apartment! _Mineee_! Why would they take it away from me?! Where am I going to live now? Will I have to live on the streets? But I don't want to live on the streets! I'll get hungry, and smelly… And I won't be able to make ramen, and I'll get cold… Then everyone will laugh at me, and then…!"

The raven-haired boy desperately covered his ears in pain as the blonde ended his speech with a high-pitched wail.

"Look you baka! You're living with me! With ME, got it?! Not on the streets, but with ME!" Sasuke frantically shouted over the ruckus, desperately praying for the moron to shut up.

Almost immediately, the wailing stopped.

_Hallelujah! His prayers were answered! _

"With you?" Naruto mumbled incoherently, his blue eyes wide and watery.

"Yes with ME!" the Uchiha repeated, his voice hoarse and slightly panicked. He definitely did NOT want to go though all that again… Gah a hysterical Naruto was just as scary as a hyperactive one!!

A tense silence descended upon the pair…

Until…

"Wahhhh!" Naruto suddenly yelled, even louder and more frenzied than before, startling Sasuke into a frozen state of immobility.

"What?! What now?" the Uchiha demanded anxiously, as he forced his body to react swiftly. Was the blonde hurt? Was something going to attack?! He quickly scanned the surrounding area, while crouching in a defensive posture – he knew that Naruto possessed a much higher sense of perception than he did, and he wasn't willing to disregard the obvious cry of warning…

"But Sasukeee!! I don't want to live with you! I don't want to live with you ever! Cos your mean, and you're gonna hit me, and shout at me all the time! And you're gonna call me annoying, and a baka, and you won't let me make ramen, and everyone will hate me and laugh at me!"

This time, Naruto ended with an even louder high-pitched wail. Sasuke sighed wearily before walking away with his head slumped low. He couldn't deal with the stupidity anymore – he needed a time out…

And unfortunately, he had a feeling that the day was going to get much, _much_ worse…

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke rubbed his ears wearily as he walked closer and closer towards his house. He could still hear the moron screeching behind him – which was a feat in itself, considering the fact that the blonde was probably over half a mile away.

He sighed irritably. How on earth did he get involved in such a stupid assignment anyway? Not only did he have to spend a LOT of time with the idiotic blonde, but he also had to deal with constant hysteria and impulsive fits of tantrum?!

He just _better_ be getting well paid for this!!

The dark-haired boy suppressed a yawn as he stopped and casually leaned against the trunk of a tree. They were more or less still within the outskirts of the village, and he didn't really want to neglect his duties so early on in the mission … Might as well wait for the idiot, right? It shouldn't take _too_ long now… He'd give him 3 seconds max - after all, even a _retard_ would've noticed his missing presence by now…

_1… _

_…2… _

_……3… _

"Sasuke you bastard!!" a crude cry cut through the atmosphere. "How could you just leave me like this?!"

The dark-haired boy forced his eyebrows to stop twitching as a cloud of smoke rapidly billowed towards him. And leading the trail of destruction was one angry and very red-faced blonde.

The Uchiha shook his head resignedly. Where did the baka get his boundless energy anyway? For god's sake - he just screamed for 5 minutes non-stop, and now he was _still_ running like there was no tomorrow!! Just how the hell was he supposed to restrain someone so damn hyperactive?!

And was he even _supposed_ to get through the bloody mission alive?!

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

The first thing Naruto noticed about the Uchiha mansion was that it was big - it was _extremely_ big… In fact, the living area was almost bigger than his entire apartment all put together! How the hell did Sasuke manage to live by himself anyway?! It must be a bitch to tidy and vacuum every week!

He sighed as he recalled his earlier conversation with his former housing tenant. _Supposedly_, he hadn't paid his rent in over 3 months!! Which was _completely_ ridiculous, because he specifically remembered telling Tsunade-sama to step in while he was away… He even left her money in advance!

But then again, the housing records _did_ confirm his lack of payments… Which came to only one universal conclusion – the old-hag must've spent all his money gambling!!

Naruto sighed - oh how he had wanted to storm down to the Hokage headquarters to give the irresponsible woman a piece of his mind! But unfortunately, he was held back firmly by a rather unenthusiastic Sasuke…

The smaller boy growled softly at the unpleasant memory - damn the Uchiha! Who did he think he was anyway?! Just because he was good-looking, it didn't mean that he could just _order_ people around like that! So what if the Hokage was attending a special meeting somewhere until midnight?! He'd just have to sit outside her office until she returned!

_'Stupid Sasuke… And stupid Tsunade…' _

Suppressing the insane urge to run screaming at the injustice of it all, the blonde quietly began the arduous task of settling in… Might as well save his wrath for the inevitable confrontation in the morning… After all, it had gone on long enough - _someone_ had to inform Tsunade of her responsibilities!!

_And Sasuke?_ Naruto grinned evilly. _He'd get his revenge in due time. _

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke flopped onto his bed resignedly, and covered his tired eyes with a limp arm. Getting the blonde maniac into his house was much more difficult than he had ever anticipated. First they had to stop by the 'old' apartment, where the idiot cried, moaned and wailed for at least 30 minutes. Then after being shouted at by the irate neighbours, and averting the blonde's murder attempt on the Hokage, the two boys had to make 6 journeys back and forth before _everything_ in the small apartment had been safely transported.

The Uchiha sighed - the amount of stuff that idiot owned was truly amazing… How the hell did the moron manage to afford everything in the first place?! Albeit most of it _was _useless crap, the fact that it all managed to fit into the tiny apartment was another major feat in itself…

"Sasukeeeee!!" a shrill cry cut menacingly through the air, immediately forcing the dark-haired boy out of his exhausted musings.

'_Oh God, no…_' the Uchiha moaned, as he buried himself face first into his comforter. It was official – this had to be the _worst_ mission that he had _ever_ been involved in. And that included the disgusting incident where he had to give private sponge baths to 50 old men… (But that was a different story.)

"Sasukeee, where are youuuu?!!"

The raven-haired boy bit back a desperate sob as the voice lingered ever closer and closer. Couldn't the devil just leave him alone?! Please… If only just for an hour or so…!! He _really_ needed some sleep… Please…!

"Sasuke!!" the door to his room burst open. "There you are!"

The Uchiha suppressed a wail of his own, as he sunk deeper and deeper into his duvet. Maybe he should just choke himself, and get everything over and done with!

"Sasukeee!! Are you ok?!"

Sasuke tried not to flinch as the blonde shouted right into his ear, almost deafening him in the process. Maybe if he just played dead, the moron would get the message and leave him alone?? He would get the hint, right? Nobody could be that _dense_!!

"Sasuke?"

Hehe… The Uchiha suppressed a grin of triumph at his own brilliant strategy. It was an excellent idea! Why hadn't he ever thought of it before?!

"Ano… Sasuke?"

The dark-haired boy tried not to panic as his bed suddenly creaked and dipped. What the…? _What the hell_?! Was Naruto climbing onto his bed?!

One black peeked ajar, before both eyes snapped open in disbelief.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU BAKA?!" Sasuke shouted incredulously, as the sight of Naruto hovering above him immediately slammed his senses onto high alert. The incredibly blue eyes were less than an inch above his own, and he suddenly felt extremely hot again, almost suffocating… As if he couldn't breathe…

"Hmm… I was checking to see if you were ok!" the blonde answered cheerfully, as he lowered himself upon the Uchiha's lap. Sasuke tried not to flinch as 2 strong legs suddenly wrapped around his hips, successfully halting his motions and trapping him within the smaller boy's embrace.

A huge sense of déjà vu suddenly overcame the dark-haired boy.

"Yes, I'm ok…" Sasuke muttered through clenched teeth, even as he forced his pulse and breathing rate to slow down. He should've known that the idiot wouldn't get the hint – after all, he wasn't exactly what other people called _normal_… Nor smart.

"Now would you please care to explain _exactly_ what the hell you're doing?!" he glared.

"Uh huh…" Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "I came to tell you that I don't want to live downstairs!"

"And why not?"

"Because!"

"Because what?" the dark-haired boy's glare intensified.

"JUST BECAUSE!" the blonde suddenly shouted, before slamming his head down onto the Uchiha's chest.

Sasuke was dumbfounded. What the hell was the moron doing _now_?!

"But you must have a reason… Right?" he murmured desperately, on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. He had never been in such a strange situation before. He tried to wriggle out from under the smaller boy's grip, but all his efforts proved futile… The boy was almost completely sprawled on top of him now, and he was sure as hell damn heavy!

"I just don't want to…" Naruto mumbled incoherently, his faced buried within the dark-haired boy's shirt. Sasuke frantically suppressed a full body flush as the thought of their compromising position entered his mind. He could feel the blonde's breath caressing his skin, and that thought alone was starting to make him feel extremely light-headed…

And aroused.

_Goddamn it_! He was getting aroused!! Why the _fuck_ was he getting aroused?! He _never_ got aroused!

"But you must have a reason, right?" the raven-haired boy asked weakly, even as he tried to force his body to calm down. It definitely wouldn't be good if Naruto noticed his little 'problem' – even if the idiot was practically sitting on top of it! He immediately began to think of un-sensual things – useless boring things, mundane things…

Like the time he went shopping for pyjamas… Or the time he played chess… Or, god forbid that he should mention it again, but the time that he had to wash those really disgusting old men…

"But you'll laugh at me…" the blonde's voice was muffled, and Sasuke shivered as the sound vibrated teasingly throughout his body. Was the baka tormenting him as some sort of revenge?! But that couldn't be it, right? Naruto was much too dumb to know _anything_ about retribution, let alone the art of seduction!!

Gritting his teeth in frustration, the dark-haired boy immediately clenched his eyes shut, and focussed on imagining the slimy old men, with their wrinkled skin, and their… er… wrinkled… bits…

_Anything to force himself back under control…! _

"I promise I won't laugh," Sasuke half gasped out, cringing as his voice came out higher than expected. He could feel every pore of his body burning as if he were on fire, and yet for some reason, he couldn't exactly say that it was an _unpleasant_ feeling…

"But you will…!!" Naruto whined, his voice dampened as he nuzzled his nose against the Uchiha's chest, sending unimaginable yet forbidden emotions to surge through the taller boy's frame. Everything – all the irrepressible feelings – it all just _wasn't_ right! He was an Uchiha for god's sake – he was supposed to possess immense self control…

So just what the hell was happening to him?!

"Look, I swear I won't laugh!" the dark-haired boy half squeaked out, as he frantically tried to regulate his erratic breathing. The scent of the blonde was slowly becoming overwhelming – he could almost taste the muskiness, almost feel himself being relentlessly drowned in it over and over again…

The fact that the smaller boy was almost writhing on top of him wasn't doing his libido any good either!

Naruto seemed to hesitate slightly before answering solemnly. "It's too big."

"What?!" Sasuke cringed as the blonde suddenly went limp above him, bright blonde hair buried snugly under his chin. He could feel warm breath brushing against the bare skin upon his neck, causing intense tremors to vigorously spark up his spine.

"It's too big! I'm not used to living in such a big place by myself!"

But the words didn't register within Sasuke's mind, because as soon as the first words were uttered, the dark-haired boy immediately thrashed frantically beneath the blonde's embrace. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore – it was as if he had lost all self control…! All he knew was that he needed to get out of their compromising arrangement, and he needed to do it soon!

"Sasuke?!" Naruto frowned anxiously, as the dark-haired boy suddenly threw himself out from under him and off the bed, causing the blonde to land in a rather uncomfortable and twisted heap upon the floor. "Are you ok?"

Sasuke's eyes were wide and unblinking, his face flushed and his breathing uneven. If he didn't look feverish before, he definitely looked it now!!

"T-There's a spare bedroom next door…" he half stuttered, half stumbled. And with those final departing words, a red-faced Uchiha sprinted out of the room. He just hoped against hope that Naruto hadn't discovered his long time secret weakness… Which just _happened_ to be the region where his ex-rival's words had both brushed and teased…

It was his neck.He had an _extremely_ sensitive neck.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

It was 7pm. Sasuke tried not to cry as he recalled the day's earlier events. How could it be only 7pm, when it already felt like a goddamn lifetime?! He had only spent 7 hours with the blonde idiot, and a migraine was already threatening to end his early yet successful ninja career. Add that to the 6 and a half days of inadequate sleep that he had suffered in the past week, the result equalled a very moody and irritable Uchiha boy.

And an irritable Uchiha was not a very pleasant one.

He sighed wearily – could his day possibly get any worse??

Obviously, that wasn't a very smart question to ask one self, because the door bell immediately rang as if on cue.

"I'll get it...!"

Sasuke bit back a sob – the blonde idiot's voice was really starting to grate on his nerves… The boy was 16 for god's sake – it should be illegal to squeal and sound so damn high pitched!! Wasn't the moron supposedly undergoing puberty or something?! So why the hell did he still sound like a damsel in distress on crack?!

A sudden crash sent the raven-haired boy onto his feet, and sprinting swiftly towards the front door. What was happening now?! Couldn't the hyperactive baka even answer the damn door without destroying his house?! For god's sake, why did _nothing_ ever go his bloody way?

"You baka! I swear, if you break anything…!"

Black eyes widened - his dangerous threat immediately cut short - as the taller boy took in the scene that was displayed before him.

Sprawled haphazardly across his floor was one very dazed looking Naruto, with not one, but TWO extremely flushed girls sitting on top of him. Fierce shock flooded the Uchiha's system as he realised that he could actually _recognise_ the girls…

Ino… And _Sakura_?!

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

"Naruto-kunn!! You look so good today!! I haven't seen you in soo long – why haven't you called me?" Sakura pouted sweetly, her green eyes glinting happily. It was the same look of adoration that the blonde had seen her give to Sasuke time and time again… And 4 years ago, he would've given _anything_ to have been on the receiving end of _that_ look… But now… Experiencing it firsthand was actually kinda…

_Scary_.

Naruto frowned suspiciously. "Because every time I call you, you tell me to get lost and to never call you again?"

The pink-haired girl laughed cheerfully. "Ah Naruto-kun… You're so funny! That's what I love about you!"

"Shut up big forehead girl! Naruto-kun doesn't need your love!" another voice suddenly interrupted, which the blonde boy identified as belonging to Yamanaka Ino. Deep confusion suddenly engulfed him from within – just what _were_ the two girls doing here anyway?

And why the hell were they sitting on top of him, and calling him Naruto-_kun_?

"Shut up Ino-pig! Me and Naruto-kun don't even want you here!"

"Well that's for Naruto-kun to decide!"

Naruto tried not to flinch as Ino's face hovered awkwardly above his own. The girl was starting to get a little _too_ close for comfort… Even her strong perfume seemed to seep to seep into his pores…

"Tell her, Naruto-kun… You like me more right?" the blonde girl whispered seductively, as her forefinger slowly trailed down Naruto's startled expression. Blue eyes widened in shock – just _what the hell_ was she doing?! Was this some kinda game?!

"Kyaaa! Get off him Ino-pig!"

A shove was immediately followed by a push.

"Shut up big forehead!"

"Make me!"

"Fine, I will!"

Naruto quickly clamoured away from the rapidly escalating girl fight, only to run face first into one Uchiha Sasuke.

"Itai…!" he muttered, as his hands immediately came up to massage his sore forehead. Sasuke sure had hard skin.

"What are they doing here?" the dark-haired boy asked in mild puzzlement. He didn't seem in the least bit affected by Naruto's head on tackle, which was actually quite surprising in itself, given that the blonde actually possessed an extremely hard head.

"Uhmm…" blue eyes shifted around in mild curiosity. "They came to… uh… see you?"

"NARUTO-KUN!" both girls suddenly stopped fighting and glared at each other. "TELL HER THAT YOU LIKE ME MORE!" they both shouted simultaneously, while pointing accusingly at the other.

Naruto scratched the back of his head in a fusion of fear and embarrassment… "Eh… Ano…" He looked to Sasuke for help, but the cold hearted bastard merely looked uninterested, as if finding two girls screaming in his house was a normal everyday occurrence…

Which, of course, it probably was.

"Ano…" he repeated weakly, as his subconscious took in the image of the scary pair snarling fiercely at each other before him. Just what was going on anyway? Was this some kind of joke?! And why the hell would they care about who _he_ liked more?!

Then, out of the blue, like a thunderbolt from the skies – it all just _suddenly_ made sense. They were _obviously_ trying to make Sasuke jealous! Ha – that _had_ to be it!! He grinned goofily within his mind – '_Wah, Sakura-chan and Ino-chan must really love Sasuke to go to all this trouble for him…'_

"Yosh!" he declared enthusiastically, extremely proud with himself for discovering the girls' secret game plan. Hehe – he was so smart! Might as well play along – for Sakura-chan's sake! She _was_ his friend after all! "I don't know who I like better, so…"

Both girls held their breaths in anticipation.

"So… Let's go on a date!"

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke froze on the spot. What was the idiot on about this time? A date?! Was he crazy?! What the hell was he supposed to do now?! Tsunade-sama instructed… no, _demanded_ that the blonde stayed away from members of the opposite sex! And the baka just _had_ to go and defy everything!!

Gah, just what was he supposed to _do_?!

"OK!" Sakura smiled in genuine happiness. "How about tomorrow morning, Naruto-kun? Are you free then?"

The Uchiha swallowed a gasp before successfully concealing his initial shock. The pink-haired girl was actually _serious_ about this?! She was actually willing – no, she _wanted_ to date the moron?!

Was everyone on drugs?!

"Ano…" to his credit, the blonde _did_ look a little unsure…

"How about tonight, Naruto-kun?" Ino interrupted, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "We can take a midnight stroll – it'll be _sooo_ romantic!!"

The dark-haired boy almost stopped breathing on the spot. Was this some kind of sick joke?! This was… This was Naruto for god's sake! As in the idiot that used to talk with his mouth full of food! As in the _same_ idiot who used to emit nasty bodily aromas at the most inappropriate times!

Just what the hell was _wrong_ with everyone?!

"Uhmm… Ano…"

A sudden memory flitted across Sasuke's mind… Could it be? _Could it be true_? Was it actually possible for other people to find Naruto… _attractive_?! Maybe what Tsunade-sama said was actually valid!! Maybe…

_…flashback…_

_"In case you haven't noticed," Tsunade-sama muttered, with a glare. "Naruto has grown up to be a very fine young man. In fact – he's been becoming more and more popular with the female inhabitants of the village…" _

_…end flashback…_

Maybe… Was it? _Was it actually possible?! _

"Shut up Ino-pig! Naruto-kun needs his rest! He just got back from a mission so leave him alone!"

"You shut up forehead girl! You're just jealous that he likes me more!"

The Uchiha tuned out the rest of the bickering successfully – after all, it was almost like second nature to him. He didn't get stalked for 4 years and learn nothing from the strenuous process! In fact – the survival tactics that he picked up from his fan-girl experiences had proved more than just a little useful.

But first things first – he needed to get his priorities straight – which was obviously the welfare of the mission. And to complete the mission, he needed to fulfil all the criteria stated by the client… Ultimately, that meant he had to prevent Naruto from participating in those dates…!

And to do that he needed a plan. A _foolproof_ plan…

So wasn't it fortunate that he just happened to have the _perfect_ plan…?

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Naruto's gaze alternated back and forth between the two arguing girls, like a pendulum, until a dull throb started thumping viciously at his temple. The 'plan' was getting beyond ridiculous now…! Why did they have to argue over who went on the date first anyway?! It wasn't as if it really mattered – Sasuke should be jealous either way, right?

"No you listen to me Ino-pig! I've known Naruto-kun longer, so obviously, I should get to date him first!"

"Exactly big forehead girl! The fact that you were team-mates for so long, and yet you still didn't make a move means that you were never meant to me! So you should just move aside and let other people have a chance!"

"No way Ino-pig! I saw him first!"

"No, actually _I_ saw him first!"

Naruto sighed as the argument continued resolutely in the background. He idly wondered whether him and Sasuke sounded like that when they got into one of their petty fights…

Gah – it sure was pathetic.

"Look, Ino – he likes me more, so just accept it ok?"

"Sakura – why the hell would he like you more? I'm obviously prettier than you!"

"No, he likes me more!"

"He likes me!"

"No, me!"

"Me!"

"SHUT UP!"

The 3 occupants of the room froze in shock at the sudden outburst, before all simultaneously spinning around to face one irate Uchiha.

"You're BOTH wrong!" Sasuke growled angrily, a dark dangerous glint shining from within his eyes.

3 pairs of eyes stared at him in a mixture of confusion and surprise.

"Because HE," the dark-haired boy thrust a finger pointing at the blonde. "Likes ME more!"

…

Naruto stared. _Just_ _what the hell was going on now?!_

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Hehe... I hope the chapter wasn't too confusing. Sasuke tormenting is so much fun hehe :) Ooh, and yes - this will probably get quite lemony... That's if my brain can handle writing lemons! (I'm still a novice arghh!)

And don't you just hate 's new system?! No stars, no swirls, no lil triangles... Just how am I supposed to make those cute anime faces now?! :(

And the mailing list offer is still on!! Mail me!! Yaay! (Kumagorou loves emails... Actually - anyone know where to GET a Kumagorou?!)

Heh - take care all you lovely people! Ja ne!

p.s. thanks esp. to KuroiItami, eBooeBoo, Kikirini-chan, Anguissette and D.A for their lovely reviews!!


	3. Early Troubles

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. (cries)  
**Title**: Hot blooded - chapter 2: Early troubles  
**Author**: Purrfectly679 - e-mail purrfectly679 'at' hotmail. com for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.  
**Rating**: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x ? , SasuNaru, KakaNaru, InoNaru, SakuNaru  
**Notes**: Wahh u guys r the coolest... (so many reviews!!) Have I ever told you guys that? Cos u r, no da!

Dedication?? Uhm... **Kitten Cat** of course! Thanks for all the _amazing_ **fanart**!! I lub u sooo much!! (glomp)

**Previously**: "You're BOTH wrong!" Sasuke growled angrily, a dark dangerous glint shining from within his eyes. "Because HE," the dark-haired boy thrust a finger pointing at the blonde. "Likes ME more!"

(Hehe I guess everyone liked that line as much as me!!)

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke tried not to cringe as 3 bewildered expressions continued to ogle him in complete and utter disbelief. It had seemed like a good idea at the time – honest! After all, it was the only reliable way to get Naruto out of all the goddamn mess without risking confidentiality! Girls tended to back off when their '_target'_ was already involved with someone else, right? And what better person to get '_involved_ _with'_ than an ex-rival/team-mate turned best-friend?!

And it was the only foolproof strategy to get the girls off _both_ their backs - like hitting 2 birds with one stone!

It was the _perfect_ plan!!

But now – considering the 3 baffled faces before him, Sasuke began to doubt his intelligence…

And his seemingly lack of sanity.

"Eh… Sasuke?"

As always, Naruto was the first to break the uncomfortable silence. It was actually one of his rare more-than-admirable skills…

"Yes, Naruto-chan?" the dark-haired boy suppressed the intense urge to gag as the repulsive words slowly departed his smiling mouth. Naruto-_chan_?! OK, now he was taking it _waay_ too far! Just what the hell was wrong with him?! Was his entire brain fucking dysfunctional or something?! There was a fine line between duty and pride, and he had just leaped across it!

And why did he have the sinking feeling that he was rapidly digging his own grave?!

"Eh… Did you just call me Naruto-_chan_?" the blonde twitched his nose in a mixture of distaste and confusion.

Sasuke inwardly groaned. Didn't the moron know how to play along?! The baka was sure making this mission a difficult one…

"Yes, Naruto-chan!" Surprisingly, the raven-haired boy managed to grit out the foul words with little difficulty, while simultaneously hiding under a sickly sweet smile. Aah – the wonders of multitasking… "Now come here and give me a hug – I've missed you _soo_ much while you were away!"

Naruto continued to stare at him blankly, while Sasuke resisted the intense urge to scream at the insolent baka for his idiocy.

Just how the hell was his plan supposed to work, if his bloody partner refused to play?

"Wait a minute…"

Sasuke glanced up at the sudden interruption, his dark eyes perceiving a rather sceptical Ino. Oh god – maybe she figured out his 'foolproof' plan? He totally forgot that she wasn't a complete idiot! After all, being on the same team as Shikamaru must be beneficial to ones intelligence, right?

Bah, who was he kidding? His plan sucked, and he knew it. Add an uncooperative baka to the mix, and it was a foolproof plan for failure…

He idly wondered whether he should join Shikamaru for his next assignment… It was obvious that he was lacking some in the 'common sense' department…Maybe being with the genius ninja would somehow help him rejuvenate some crucial brain cells…

That is… If he ever survived _this_ one…

"Something seems fishy…"

_'Oh really?'_ he thought sarcastically.

"What makes you think that?" Sakura enquired, her pink eyebrows raised in puzzlement. Her initial aversion to the blonde-haired girl seemed a thing of the distant past. Sasuke suppressed the urge to sigh out loud in exasperation – why the hell did they called _her_ the smartest girl in the village?!

"Well… Naruto-kun seems as shocked as we are!" Ino declared triumphantly.

Sasuke's rolled his eyes as his mind whirled around frantically for an excuse. "That's because… er… he's… hungry!!"

"I am?" the blonde boy interrupted, an adorable frown plastered over his baffled expression.

"Yes! Come Naruto-chan – let's eat before our food gets cold!" the dark-haired boy groaned inwardly at his pathetic explanation, while his outward appearance grinned idiotically. What a stupid way to get out of a stupid situation. He sighed dejectedly – maybe the only way to survive the mission was to fight stupidity with a force of even greater stupidity…

What a terribly vicious cycle…

"Wait a minute!"

Sasuke suppressed another groan at the sound of Ino's voice. What now? For god's sake – he had made a fool out of himself enough times already today! What more did she want?!

"Yes?" he enquired weakly, while desperately wishing for the ground to swallow him up. Maybe this was all a horrible dream? Maybe the whole entire thing was just a by product of his disgustingly active imagination? _Maybe_ –

Bah. Who was he fooling?

"What makes you think Naruto-kun likes you more?" the blonde girl asked sweetly, with a hint of suspicion to her voice.

"Yeh…!" Sakura added, her sudden and unexpected comradeship with her sworn rival overlooked. "Naruto-kun hasn't even said anything! What gives you the right to answer for him?"

And lo behold – what could _possibly_ be more unexpected? Two teenage girls arguing with our number one rookie, sex on legs, Uchiha Sasuke extraordinaire…? Or was it the fact that the conflict was over a clumsy, ramen obsessed blonde moron who didn't seem capable of shutting up?

_Maybe_ the world _was_ coming to an end.

"Because…" Sasuke cringed inwardly. He idly wondered whether it was possible to alter his initial plan, without seeming _too_ suspicious…

Three sets of eyes looked at him inquisitively.

"Because…" the Uchiha suppressed the intense urge to fidget on the spot… The looks he received were starting to make him feel more than a _little_ uncomfortable… Didn't they know that it was rude to stare?! And where the heck was Naruto when you needed him?! This was the _perfect_ time for the bumbling idiot to shout something completely unrelated and totally obscure!

"_Because_…"

After repeating the word '_because'_ for the third consecutive time, the dark-haired boy had the dignity to look slightly sheepish – almost _apologetic _even… And if Naruto had _any_ sense of perception at all, he would've noticed that Sasuke's eyes seemed a little more _expressive_ than usual…

_As if he were desperately pleading for forgiveness… _

The Uchiha took a deep breath to calm his nerves, before closing his eyes. He was already half way to hell, so what harm would it cause if he went all the way…? And who knows? Maybe there was a god out there who cared, and maybe, just _maybe_ his plan might _somehow,_ someway work out in the end…

He had a feeling that this was definitely going to end up one of those 'special' and 'unforgettable' days – even if it strayed more towards the 'unpleasant' and 'repulsive' side of the line… And now, to top it all off, the unspeakable words were _finally_ going to become spoken…

"Because Naruto-chan's my boyfriend!!"

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Naruto blinked stupidly as the bold statement left the dark-haired boy's mouth. _Did he…? Did he just hear right?? _He opened his mouth as if to speak, then promptly shut it again, before blinking some more. _Did Sasuke…?_ Did Sasuke say what he _thought_ he just heard?! Uchiha Sasuke - the boy who adamantly refused to acknowledge him as a mere '_associate_,' let alone _friend_, was now referring to him as a _boyfriend_?!

Just what the _hell_ was going on now?!

"Is this true, Naruto-kun?" Sakura interrupted the blonde's reverie, her hands clasped together in an act of total desperation. Shimmering tear drops were already brimming in the corner of her green eyes, making them appear bigger and more dewy than usual. If possible, she looked even more upset than the time when Sasuke 'died' from Haku's needles.

The blonde stared at her blankly. "Er…"

"Are you really dating Sasuke?" the pink-haired girl's voice trembled, as she glanced back and forth between the 2 boys uncertainly. It was obvious that she wasn't going to believe the news unless she heard it from Naruto's own mouth… And if Naruto _did_ confirm Sasuke's statement, it was obvious that she wasn't going to accept it either.

Such as were the way of the teenage girls.

"Err…"

To be honest, Naruto didn't know what to think. What was the dark-haired boy playing at anyway? Was it supposed to be some kind of joke?! And if it was, it wasn't a very funny one…!! It wasn't a very funny one _at all_!

But then again, that couldn't be it either, right? After all, it was a well known fact that the lone survivor of the Uchiha clan had absolutely _no_ sense of humour… (And will probably never develop one either.) Naruto honestly doubted that the poor boy even _knew_ what a joke _was_… Therefore, it would be technically impossible for Sasuke to carry out one, no matter how poorly it was executed…

In any case, funniness was a vital skill that required slow development over a long period of time - with good '_social'_ interaction input as a crucial factor… And Sasuke _wasn't_ exactly what you would classify as _friendly_, or _talkative_, or...

Well, enough said really.

But then if it wasn't a joke, then what was it? The blonde frowned - he could immediately eliminate the possibility of the statement being true, because frankly, it was the Uchiha they were talking about!! After all – didn't the arrogant bastard once have a problem with the names 'Sasuke' and 'Naruto' put together in the same sentence?!

So if it wasn't a joke, and it wasn't true… Then why would the taller boy say '_it'_?! Was there an underlying purpose/incentive that he hadn't comprehended or something?!

…

_Girls… Sasuke… Girls… Naruto… Girls… Jealous… Naruto… Jealous… JEALOUS!! _

…

'_Gah_, _nooo_!' the blonde screamed inwardly, as all the pieces finally fell into place. So _that's_ why the Uchiha said all those ridiculous things! It all made sense now! Sasuke was _obviously_ playing the girls at their own game, and trying to make _them_ jealous as some twisted form of revenge!! Arghh just how the hell did he manage to get himself caught in the middle of such a warped game?! Manipulation of one's feelings was bad, right? And just who the hell was he supposed to help now?! Should he help the girls make Sasuke jealous, or help Sasuke make the girls jealous?!

Gah…! Everything was so damn confusing!

"Answer me Naruto-kun!" Sakura pleaded distraughtly, her voice on the verge of breaking down. The blonde paused hesitantly while his internal battle raged on. In any case, he _had_ to admire the pink-haired girl's skills - he never knew that she could act! She actually looked so sincere that he had to keep constantly reminding himself that it was only a game!

_Arghh – just who should he help?! _

"Naruto-chan – tell her that we're together…"

The blonde suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at the dark-haired boy. He was definitely taking it a little _too_ far now… Didn't he care about the rumours that were inevitably going to spread like wildfire through the village? Didn't he care about what the gossip would do to their reputations?

And two boys dating? Now that was just being silly!!

"No, Sasuke isn't my boyfriend!" Naruto answered firmly, with a small smug smile. Sasuke _obviously_ hadn't thought his jealousy 'idea' through properly, and Sakura had _always_ been nicer to him anyway! Might as well return the favour AND ruin the great Uchiha's plan!! Woohoo – it was like hitting two birds with one lousy stone! Wasn't life just great?!

But so immersed in his little inner dance of triumph, the blonde totally missed the soft sigh that spilled from Sasuke's lips, followed by an intense expression that could only be described as severe determination.

Poor Naruto - little did he know just how deep he had just dug his own hole.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Kakashi grinned jovially as he waltzed back from the local bookshop, only to be struck down by a sudden desire to go see his favourite blonde-haired ex-student. Didn't he just return from his 2-month mission today? He squinted at his wrist, unsuccessfully finding his non-existent watch, only to remember that fact that he didn't own one in the first place…

'_Oh well…_' he thought happily. The sky wasn't dark yet, so it couldn't be _that_ late… Anyway – Naruto will have definitely missed him loads (being the captivating person he was), so he might as well pop down to save the blonde some angst and trouble. And who knows – maybe the hyperactive ninja brought home some souvenirs!

Grinning enthusiastically at the thought of presents, the silver-haired man began to walk towards the direction of a certain Uchiha house.

And being the great teacher that he was, not once did the thought '_Naruto might be tired after an exhausting 2-month mission'_ cross his blissful mind…

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched in irritation, as he continued to watch a smug and self-satisfied Naruto dance around to an unknown beat. What was the moron doing anyway?! Was he _stupid_? Or just _damn_ stupid?! Didn't he understand _anything_ that was going on?!

"Sasuke," Ino tutted scathingly, as she wagged a finger at the scowling boy. "You shouldn't lie about things like this… After all, rumours might start to spread, and we don't want Naruto-kun's reputation to go down the drain…!"

Severe annoyance immediately developed into intense disbelief. Did he just hear right?! Ino was worried about _Naruto's_ reputation?! The _same_ girl that had stalked him for over a quarter of his entire lifetime, was now _implying_ that he wasn't _good_ _enough_ for the blonde moron?!

_Just what the fuck?! _

"Yeah!" Sakura added, with a frown. "We all know that Naruto-kun isn't homosexual. And if even if he was bi, I don't think that he'd go for you… You're not his type after all…"

The dark-haired boy fumed inwardly, while his outer self glared. How would _she_ know what the idiot's type was anyway?! And what did she mean that he wasn't his type?! He was everybody's type damn it, and had been for several years! He was Uchiha Sasuke – sex god extraordinaire, the subject of many girls (and boys) explicit sexual fantasies!

And if he ever _wanted_ to seduce the moron, then he'd seduce the moron goddamn it! He'd definitely succeed - there were no 'ifs' and no 'maybes' about it!

After all, who could _possibly_ resist his alluring charms?

"Uhm… Ano…"

Naruto spoke up after almost an _entire_ minute of silence, which was actually a rather impressive accomplishment for the village's blabbermouth. Sasuke glared scathingly – just what totally idiotic and irrelevant nonsense was the baka going to contribute now?

"Ano…" to give him credit, the blonde _did_ look adorably confused. Which, to reasons still unknown, almost made the Uchiha want to forgive the baka for sabotaging his earlier plan…

_Almost. _

"Yes, Naruto-kun?!"

The Uchiha suppressed the intense urge to gag all over the pink-haired girl's shoes. And to think that she used to act all sweet and sugary towards him like that! Was this how Naruto felt every time he watched their interactions?! Did he also feel the _need_ to wretch and choke himself simultaneously?

Gah – maybe the blonde's sudden popularity wasn't so bad after all! After all, aside from the nauseating 'Naruto having sex' thoughts that came with it, the situation definitely had its perks and advantages!! Maybe now he could visit the village market without being stalked and groped at every other opportunity…

Maybe.

"Er… What you did say earlier, Sakura? That I wasn't what?"

The pink-haired girl looked completely stricken. "Did I upset you, Naruto-kun? I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to offend you!"

"No, no, no!" Naruto himself looked as if he were on the edge of a major panic attack - girls seemed to have that effect upon him. "I just… didn't… uhm… understand a word that you said… Something 'hom'? 'Homme'? 'Hon'?"

"You mean '_homosexual'_?" Ino quipped with a sceptical look plastered over her face.

Sasuke sweatdropped… The idiot couldn't be _that_ stupid, could he? It was impossible! _No one_… No one could be that stupid…!

"Yeh! What exactly does 'homosexual' mean?!"

Ok… So maybe he _was_ that stupid.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Kakashi grinned as he stood outside the Uchiha's front door. Good – the lights were still on… In fact, he could even hear voices! That meant that the two boys weren't asleep yet! The silver-haired man rubbed his hands together lecherously – and _that_ meant more valuable time for him to spend with his lil precious Naruto-kun…! And maybe, if he was lucky, he could have the privilege of tucking the cute boys into bed!

Ah the joys of being a teacher!

Stretching a finger out to press the doorbell, a voice suddenly caught the copy nin's attention. Was that… Was that _Sakura_?! What was Sakura doing there?! Irrational anger unexpectedly consumed the older man – were the boys having a sleepover?! Why wasn't he (the '_cool'_ teacher) invited?! And lastly – why were girls there?! Just what the hell were they doing? _They'd better not be - _

Kakashi gasped in horror before barging through the door with an almighty crash! He should've realised this sooner! His students were growing up – no longer the cute and innocent children they used to be! And he _still_ hadn't taught them about the birds and the bees! And being the lusty teenagers that they were, the three were probably doing… _it_… all wrong! And it was all his fault!

Gah just what kinda incompetent teacher was he?!

Whimpering a little in apprehension, the silver-haired man fervently prayed that he wasn't too late… Maybe there was still a chance that everything could be resolved! And if not… Well, he guessed he _could_ point out their mistakes… After watching them in action of course…

And if that didn't help… Well, he supposed that it _was_ possible for him to provide some one-on-one tutorials…

Ah… The responsibilities that came with being a teacher…

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Shocked beyond belief, Sasuke glared at the motionless body that sat within the shattered remains of his front door. Was that… Was that _Kakashi-sensei_?! …Just what the hell was his stupid teacher doing now?! And how the hell was he supposed to replace the damn door in the middle of the fricking night?!

"Eh? Sensei?"

"Sakura!" the older man suddenly yelled out maniacally, causing the worried girl to jump at least a metre into the air. The jounin immediately stood up, grabbing the pink-haired girl as he began the arduous task of inspecting her '_injuries_.' "Are you ok? Are you wounded? Did the boys hurt you in their vicious game of copulation?"

Sakura blinked. "Ano…"

"Ino! What are you doing here?! Were you involved too?!"

"Er…"

"And you two!"

Both Sasuke and Naruto jumped up rigidly at the sound of their ex-sensei's voice.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" Kakashi sounded extremely angry, which was actually a major accomplishment for the usually rather nonchalant ninja. "How could you do something like this? Especially you Sasuke! I'm very disappointed in you!"

Both boys looked apprehensive – never before had they seen such a serious side to their sensei. They both must've done something extremely wrong…

_But just what was it? _

"You both should know never to do something unless properly informed! What if something had gone wrong? Then what would you do?!"

"Ano… Kakashi-sensei…"

"Ino, Sakura – you two go home. I need to lecture these boys alone. Don't worry – I'll definitely punish them for what they've done to you…"

"But -"

"Go home now, Sakura!"

The pink-haired girl 'eeped' softly at the tone of the older man's voice, before quietly letting herself out through the broken door. A confused Ino followed shortly afterwards, but not before silently mouthing to Sasuke _'Naruto-kun's mine!' _

The dark-haired boy glared.

"Now you two…" Kakashi frowned dangerously. "Would you please explain… just _what the hell you were doing?!" _

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Naruto sat quietly as he watched his ex-rival face his ex-teacher in a show-down battle of willpower and glares. He also noticed that his sensei seemed to be sporting a nasty black eye… He still didn't have a clue what was going on, but he knew that it must be important… After all, why else would Kakashi break down Sasuke's front door in order to yell at them?

And talking about doors, just when the hell were they going to replace it?

"We didn't do anything!" he heard Sasuke say defensively.

"Then why were the girls here?"

The blonde sighed. The argument was boring. And he was getting hungry. Didn't Sasuke say something about food? Hmm… He hoped that they were having ramen… Those 2 months without ramen were almost unbearable! He was never going to accept such a long term assignment again!

_Hmm… Miso…Pork… Beef… Hmm… _

"So you weren't having a massive non-consensual orgy?"

"OF COURSE NOT!"

Naruto frowned. He had obviously just missed a rather large chuck of the confrontation. Oh well – he probably didn't miss much… But just what was an '_orgy'_? And why was everyone using such strange words today?

And talking about strange words, he still didn't know what 'homosexual' meant…

"Hmm… Well even if you weren't having sex, I still think its time to teach you about the birds and the bees…"

"WE DON'T NEED YOUR HELP! And why is it that the only time you're _ever_ serious, is when the situation involves sex?!"

"Now, now Sasuke-kun…" Kakashi soothed the evidently irate boy. It was amazing how easily the jounin reverted between the extremes of fury and indifference. "Sex is a very important aspect of a person's life. And it's ok – I know it embarrassing, but is natural! And you don't have to feel self-conscious around me... I'll even provide some one-on-one demonstrations to help you 'brush up' on your skills…"

"Stop being such a disgusting pervert!" the Uchiha yelled, his face bright red. Naruto wasn't entirely sure whether the unnatural flush was due to mortification or anger…

Maybe it was both.

"It'll be free of charge…"

That's when the blonde decided to butt in.

"Kaka-sensei?" he asked, eyebrows scrunched adorably in confusion. "We already know about the birds and the bees… So there's no point in teaching us because we'll just waste time…"

"Oh?" a silver-eyebrow rose in interest. "And just who exactly taught you?"

"Iruka-sensei did!" Naruto beamed obliviously – it was remarkable how he could totally misunderstand the concept when the word 'sex' had been used over 3 times.

_'Kakashi-sensei sure was weird – why was he asking about birds and bees now? Good_ _ol'Iruka sensei taught those topics over 10 years ago!'_ he thought proudly. And although the topic on birds was rather boring, he secretly thought that the bees were kinda cool… It was amazing how they could make such sweet honey in those coney… _thingys_… And go '_buzz buzz buzz'_ all the time! Didn't they _ever_ get tired?!

So consumed in his thoughts of buzzing and beehives, the blonde completely missed the sigh of exasperated disbelief that emitted from the dark-haired boy.

"Really…" the jounin almost seemed to be purring – which was a frightening scene in itself. "So have you practiced any of the… _things_ that Iruka-sensei taught you?"

Naruto frowned, perplexed. Iruka-sensei must've missed out this section by accident… "No… How exactly do you practice?"

"Well, let me show you…" Kakashi murmured, in a rather husky voice. Slowly and sensually, the silver-haired man slid off his seat, before advancing predatorily towards the blonde with an unnatural glint in his eye…

Naruto gulped nervously – just what had he gotten himself into now?

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke's eyes bulged out of his head as he took in the scene that was playing out before him. His ex-sensei was… _sashaying_ provocatively towards his ex-teammate, while licking his lips _hungrily_…?!

Just… What the… WHAT THE FUCK?!

Grabbing a random object in impulse, which just happened to be an old family paperweight, the Uchiha took aim and pitched. And being the perfect ninja that he was, his perfect aim struck perfectly on target.

The silver-haired man flew crashing across the floor.

"Owww!"

The dark-haired boy sighed a little disappointedly. You'd figure that an experienced jounin and former member of the elite ANBU team would've possessed incomparable reflexes and lightning speed reactions…

Well… You figured wrong.

"What did you do that for?!" the silver-haired man whined, as a huge bump began to form rapidly upon his forehead. Combine that to the black eye Kakashi gracefully displayed (Tsunade-sama sure had a strong arm), the poor man looked as if he were a victim of a hit and run accident.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" the raven-haired boy yelled furiously, as he clenched his fists tightly against his sides. He knew that it was irrational for him to feel so damn pissed off, but goddamn it! The situation was just too fucking _wrong_!

"I was gonna teach him about the birds and the bees…"

"By SHOWING him?!" Sasuke shouted incredulously, his eyes wide open in disbelief. Sometimes, he wondered whether the older man actually _lived_ on the same planet as the rest of humanity… "You're supposed to be bloody a teacher!"

_Every _damn_ moron_ in the educational authorities, even the _pathetically incompetent_ ones, should know that teacher-student relationships were prohibited! He could get sent to bloody jail!! Oh shit, his teacher was a paedophile! Oh shit… Just how many times in the past had they been '_training'_ alone?! Had he been in danger all this time without even realising it?!

Trembling a little in fear and anxiety, the dark-haired boy frantically scanned all his earlier memories spent with the erratic man, and focussed on recalling any 'awkward' or 'touchy' moments that may have occurred… He breathed a small sigh of relief when he ended up with none.

… Ok, ok, so maybe the label 'paedophile' was a little harsh… After all, Naruto _was_ 'officially' legal of age, but everyone knew that he possessed the mentality of a retarded child… And that meant… That meant that the perverted man was a mind-paedo – the type that corrupted innocence and destroyed naivety for the sake of it!

Gaahhh! That was even worse!

"Well… Do _you_ want to teach him instead?" Kakashi enquired innocently, as if one of his MALE students sexually contacting another fellow MALE student (who just happened to be a fierce ex-rival) was the most natural thing in the world.

The Uchiha almost choked at the idea. "WHAT THE HELL?!" he spluttered incoherently, face bright red from embarrassment. What was his stupid teacher trying to imply? That he _wanted_ to teach the baka? That he _wanted_ to kiss him, to kiss those pink soft lips, to taste the idiot thoroughly inside and out… That he _wanted_ to touch the moron… To caress him where he shouldn't, to show him everything that felt good… To have him writhing under him, skin shimmering with sweat, panting for breath, begging for-

"ARGHHH!" Sasuke screamed hysterically at his own inner thoughts. _Bad Sasuke! Bad, bad, BAD Sasuke!_ Just what the hell was wrong with him?!

_Just what the hell was wrong with his mind?! _

"So does that mean I can teach him?" Kakashi asked nonchalantly, unperturbed by the dark-haired boy's sudden bout of insanity.

The Uchiha answered by grabbing another random object – this time a sharp letter opener, and aiming it towards the direction of his ex-sensei's forehead.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

15 minutes of hysterical screaming later, a glum Naruto was found escorting his sensei out of the Uchiha house by the broken front door. The blonde sighed heavily - he just hoped Sasuke was going to be ok… After randomly freaking out for no apparent reason, the dark-haired boy seemed to be trapped in the midst of a mental breakdown while muttering something about his messed up mind… It was a shame really, because he was actually starting to enjoy his ex-rival's company… And now, he was going to be all alone again…

Gah, what a bummer.

"Hey, Naruto-chan…"

Blue eyes glared suspiciously at the jounin. Just why was everyone calling him Naruto-_kun_, and Naruto-_chan_ today? Was it some kinda of welcome-back joke?

"Wanna go for a walk?"

"Uhm… But Sasuke…"

"It's probably best if you left him alone for a bit… He just needs some time to calm down…"

The blonde frowned. He didn't really want to leave the dark-haired boy alone, but then again, what Kaka-sensei said actually _did_ make sense (for once)… It would probably do more good if he left for a little while, right? Anyway, he was _really_ hungry, and since he couldn't cook, and Sasuke didn't even seem capable of coherent speech, maybe he should go and get some takeout to save them both the trouble…

Mind finally made up, Naruto's face split into a big grin. "Yosh! I'll can get some ramen for Sasuke while we're at it!"

What he didn't realise was that him, plus Kakashi, plus isolation equalled an opportunity for perversion.

_And that wasn't very good at all… _

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke rubbed his throbbing head wearily, as he searched the streets of Konoha in vain. Gah, just how hard could it be to find one blonde-haired idiot dressed in a bright orange suit?! He should've never have let them go off alone! Gah, he was so damn stupid! If only he hadn't gotten so _irate_ at his teacher's foolish actions…

But the mere thought of that man even _thinking_ about touching the blonde was enough to make his blood boil…!!

And now his _entire_ mission was at risk… What if the baka unexpectedly meets a girl? After all - wasn't the moon supposed to somehow increase his sexual drive? So what happens if the blonde can't control himself?! And damn it - it wasn't as if he could count on Kakashi to stop the idiot – that old perverted fool would probably try to film the entire encounter!

That is, if he didn't try to get in on the action himself!

Arghh, if the Hokage ever found out about this occurrence… Gah – he didn't even want to _think_ about the consequences…

And now the two were alone! Who knows what the fuck they could get up to?! Considering the fact that one was an idiot, and the other was a very open-minded pervert… Kyaa the possibilities were too horrendous!

Clenching his fists in frustration, the dark-haired boy continued his frantic search. He just hoped that Kakashi didn't get the sudden bright idea to continue Naruto's '_lessons…'_

The jounin would never dream of taking advantage of a hopeless imbecile…

_Would he? _

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

"Hmm… Kaka-sensei… Do you think Sasuke would prefer miso ramen, or pork ramen?"

They were currently standing outside the infamous Ichiraku's, where Naruto had spent many of his 16 years of life.

"Uhm… Sasuke doesn't like ramen."

"That's true…" Naruto murmured, deep in thought. "Hey, do you think that new sushi place near Shikamaru's house is still open?"

"That's on the other side of the village…"

"Yeh… I know…" the blonde nodded, before smiling softly. "But I don't want Sasuke to sleep hungry… And he's being so nice to me, letting me stay and everything…"

He sighed inaudibly – he just hoped that he wasn't getting on the Uchiha's nerves… (Especially after ruining his plan to make the girls' jealous.) It must be infuriating for the dark-haired boy to share his living space with another, when he had practically lived alone all his life… And to generously take him in after the whole apartment fiasco, without even complaining…

Maybe Sasuke wasn't as heartless as he made out to be.

"Yosh!" the silver-haired man grinned. "Let's go! I'll walk you!!"

"But -"

"No buts!" Kakashi teased, before winking suggestively. "After all, this means that I get to spend more time with my favourite student…!"

Naruto's eyebrow twitched suspiciously. Something seemed fishy…

Little did he know just how right he was.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

"So, Naruto-chan… How was your mission anyway?"

The two were about half way to the new sushi parlour. The blonde just hoped that the place wasn't closed yet… Although, considering the way his luck was going that day, he wouldn't be too surprised if the door closed right on the arrival of his face…

"Uhm… It was so boring…" Naruto waved his arms around angrily as he walked. "I can't believe that old hag! Sending me on a pointless 2 month mission! She told me to spy on these cool outlaws that supposedly had a base nearby, but all there was nothing there apart from some stupid squirrels! Gah – 2 months without ramen! I thought I was going crazy... I kept seeing it everywhere… And I was so -"

"So did you get me a souvenir?" Kakashi interrupted enthusiastically. He loved presents! In his opinion, it was the _only_ good thing about long-term assignments!

The blonde glared spitefully at his sensei. "And just what was I supposed to get you? Some squirrel poo?"

"So you didn't get me anything…" the jounin half stated, half confirmed.

Naruto stopped walking and crossed his arms angrily. Why oh why was he cursed with such a moronic teacher?!

"I know!" the silver-haired man grinned predatorily, as he advanced towards the confused blonde. "Presents don't have to be real objects, right?"

A huge sense of déjà vu gripped Naruto, as he unconsciously edged away from his sensei until his back was flat up against a cold wall. Why did everyone feel the need to get _too_ close for comfort today…?! "Uhm… So…?"

"So that means that you can still give me a present…" the jounin whispered seductively, as his arms slammed down either side of the smaller boy, effectively trapping and shocking the blonde into a semi-frozen state.

Naruto swallowed heavily. Just what the hell was Kakashi doing? _And why…_ Why was his heart beating so damn quickly? He wasn't _that_ scared… So his heart shouldn't be racing _that_ fast…

"I don't… I don't have…."

"Shh…"

Blue eyes flickered in shock, as he felt the silver-haired man's fingers slowly caress his lips. The blonde stifled a moan as his lips parted automatically – just why was he feeling so _hot_? And why couldn't he seem to breathe properly…?

"All I want…" the copy nin murmured softly, his face close enough that Naruto could feel his warm breath tickle his flushed cheek. "All I want… is one kiss…"

Blue eyes widened incredulously, as Kakashi suddenly pulled off his mask and locked the blonde firmly within a possessive embrace. His last thoughts before his sensei kissed him hot and hard upon the mouth, was that the silver-haired man was actually quite good looking underneath the face cover ...

He didn't see Sasuke glare from the shadows.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Gomen for the slightly late post - uni stuff is so damn tedious!! Too many forms... (drowns)

Well... I never really had an opinion of KakaNaru... But it WAS fun to write... lol. But don't worry - I still prefer SasuNaru, and this basically introduces the 'j_ealous and possessive Sasuke'_ I'm so fond of!! :o)

And I hope I managed to get Kakashi in character... I had someone comment that he was OOC - and I'm getting paranoid now! So if he is ooc, I'm sorry! I just see him as this carefree kinda guy outside of battle, hence his apparent stupidness!

Anyways - review? Onegai! (smiles sweetly)

P.s. Thanks esp to Michiyo-chan, Kyuubi-kun, asad (ur 'fastest way to become Hokage' idea cracked me up!) and LQ for your wonderful comments!!


	4. Stuck with you

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. cries  
**Title**: Hot blooded - chapter 3: Stuck with you  
**Author**: Purrfectly679 - e-mail for comments and suggestions, and for mailing list enquiries. Feedback highly appreciated.  
**Rating**: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x ? , SasuNaru, KakaNaru, InoNaru, SakuNaru  
**Notes**: Dudes, I'm so, so, so sorry for not updating in such a long time. I've been at uni, and omg it's so hectic… and omg… _(faints)_

But I'm off for Xmas now, so expect more frequent updates! And before I forget, thank you so much for your support. I went through a bad patch while starting out at uni, and your reviews and comments really cheered me up! I love you guys :)

Dedication? To **kayoko**. I love you – thanks for everything sweetie! _(hug hug)_

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

It was dark… It was windy… And it was cold.

And unknown to most people, Naruto had always hated the cold. He hated it more than anything in the world – even more than waking up extremely hungry, only to discover that his never ending supply of ramen had somehow run out... He supposed that it had something to do with the Kyuubi residing within him – after all, foxes and demons were always spiritually linked with heat and fire… So he guessed that if he ever did have a weakness (being mortal kinda had that unwanted side-effect), it would most probably be related to the cold and ice…

Then again, maybe all that mystical crap was just a figment of his warped imagination.

But thinking about it now, the blonde boy decided that he didn't hate the cold – he absolutely _loathed_ it! It was strange really, because it wasn't as if he were _physically_ affected - he wasn't even shivering for god's sake! But for some reason, his entire body felt numb - as if he had just stood outside in a snowstorm for 2 hours or something ridiculously stupid like that…

And the numbness was starting to hurt.

Naruto sighed wearily – he just hoped that the symptom was nothing but an unwelcome side-effect of the day's hectic events… And what a day it had been! Not _only_ did he return from a 2 month mission to find his apartment repossessed, but he _also_ discovered that his new housemate was none other than the anti-social, antipathetic, anti-_everything_ Uchiha Sasuke! And if that wasn't bad enough, his former teacher had just kissed him!

And on the lips goddamn it!

Hence the reason why he was currently walking behind an obviously irate Uchiha, with his tail stuck between his legs.

"Ne, Sasuke…"

The situation was actually quite astounding… Just how did _one_ person, who hardly spoke on a _good_ day, manage to make silence feel so damn _uncomfortable_?

"Ne, Sasuke…" Naruto repeated, a little louder this time. The silence was starting to become deafening, and we all know how much the blonde hated silence.

The dark-haired boy continued walking.

"Sasukeee…!"

No reply.

The smaller boy bit back a sob – he didn't like being ignored. And contrary to popular belief, the blonde absolutely _hated_ it when Sasuke was angry with him. Needless to say, he had his fair share of annoying the dark-haired boy in the past, but there was a very big difference between anger and annoyance. And this time… This was _different_… This time, Sasuke was _angry_.

Sasuke was _really, really_ angry.

"…You didn't have to hit Kaka-sensei so hard, you know…" Naruto murmured quietly, once the silence became overwhelming again (which took a grand total of 5 seconds). Sure, their teacher had done a stupid thing, but didn't he _always_ do stupid things like that? And now the poor man had an extra broken nose added to his numerous cuts and bruises…

And to think that he had actually looked quite _handsome_ underneath the mask…

"And I know you've gotten stronger," the blonde continued his one-sided conversation, but hey – when has that ever stopped him before? "But you didn't _have_ to stuff him inside that trash can…"

Even if the sight _was_ pretty funny…

"And I don't think sealing the lid on with your fire jutsu was _really_ necessary…"

Naruto idly wondered how the hell the jounin was going to get out of _that_ predicament… Or whether getting out was possible at all. After all – the lid _did_ look as if it had been welded on pretty tight… And what happens if the garbage disposal people mistake him for common trash?

Will he be squished in one of those garbage squishers? Or will he die from suffocation first?

"And -"

The blonde's next words were cut off short as the Uchiha suddenly spun around with a glare fierce enough to rival that of Heero Yuy's.

"We'll talk inside," he growled dangerously, before once again stalking off into the direction of his house.

Naruto gulped. He suddenly felt very cold again.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

14 minutes, 9 interruptions and 27 glares later, the two former rivals finally reached their destination. Sasuke scowled irritably at the sight of his broken front door – trust the damn thing to be broken _just_ when he _needed_ to slam something!

Stomping angrily inside the house, the Uchiha breathed a small sigh of relief to find that everything seemed to be intact (apart from the various small _and_ heavy items that had been hazardously scattered across the room). At least he didn't have to add 'house burgled and ransacked' to his rapidly growing list of annoyances…

After all – Naruto was annoying enough by himself.

Turning around with a death glare fixed firmly upon his features, Sasuke sought out the main attributer of all his recent troubles.

"Sit."

The blonde complied meekly and obediently - a complete contrast to his usual outgoing and rebellious nature. His expression betrayed his uncertainty - it was as if he _knew_ that he was in trouble, yet was confused to _why_ he was in trouble in the first place.

_Che. What a baka._

"If you're going to be staying with me from now on, we're going to have to set some rules," Sasuke's glare was effectively accentuated with a harsh and rough voice. To be fair, he did _try_ to suppress his anger (he didn't want to resemble a parent _too_ much) but it wasn't _his_ fault that his efforts were futile.

After all - he was never known to be the most _patient_ man in the world...

"Firstly, you can't go out at night."

As expected, the blonde opened his mouth to retaliate. "But what if - "

"No."

"And if I - "

"No."

"But what happens if - "

"No," Sasuke answered efficiently. "And no, aliens won't abduct you, you won't suddenly start sleep walking, and no, you _don't_ suffer from claustrophobia. Anymore questions?"

"Uhm… No."

"Secondly – when we're out, you are to stay with me at all times. That means no running off, no talking to strangers, and no smashing your head against the walls or whatever you do for fun in your spare time-"

"But what if I'm out without you?" Naruto interrupted suspiciously.

"That won't happen."

"…" blue eyes blinked as black eyes remained unfazed.

"_EHHHHHH_?!"

The Uchiha rubbed his temples wearily. The mindless screeching was _really_ starting to get on his nerves. He idly wondered how the idiot managed to live with himself for so damn long…

Any lesser man would've committed suicide by now.

"Sasuke! What do you mean '_that won't happen_?'" the blonde repeated, his voice suddenly an octave higher. He didn't seem to realise (nor care) that his unbearable voice was slowly causing more and more of the Uchiha's poor brain cells to self-destruct.

It was a cruel, cruel cycle…

"I mean what I said," Sasuke growled, half from annoyance, and half from the pain pounding within his skull. He idly wondered whether using a gag on the blonde was really as heartless as it seemed. Surely it was acceptable if it were for the good of humanity?

"But - "

"No."

"What if - "

"No."

"But Sasukeeee!"

"No."

"**But** _you're not my mother_!!" Naruto half yelled, half spluttered indignantly.

"No I'm not," the Uchiha agreed, unusually composed considering that he felt as if his brain had been repeatedly bashed with a hammer. "But you're staying with me, so you have to follow my rules."

"But I'm 16!" the smaller boy whined and pouted for all he was worth. "I don't _need_ a babysitter!"

"Yes you do!" the raven-haired boy muttered darkly, fire flashing in his eyes as the thought of the silver-haired man entered his mind. "It's obvious you can't take care of yourself…!"

"But it wasn't my fault…"

"Hell it wasn't!" Sasuke growled through clenched teeth, furiously struggling to keep his temper under control as they finally reached the key issue of their conversation. "You _knew_ you shouldn't have gone off with him! And yet you still did!"

Naruto remained silent, eyes downcast in guilt.

"And what if it hadn't been Kakashi-sensei? Then what? What if it had been some random person, with even worse intentions? Then what would you have done?" the Uchiha was shouting now, his fists clutched tightly at his sides. "Would you have still stood there doing nothing like some fucking moron?"

"I'm sorry…" the blonde mumbled softly.

"Sorry, sorry… A shit load of good that will do that when you're lying raped and half dead in a gutter somewhere!!" Sasuke seethed, his imagination already running in overdrive. It was as if an angry volcano had just somehow erupted inside of him, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't seem to calm himself down. He _knew_ he was being irrational, but damn, just seeing the _image_ of the two kissing in his mind was enough to make him lose all common sense. The nerve of that dirty old man… And god, how could the blonde baka be so _stupid_…

"I said I was sorry..." Naruto looked hurt. "What else can I -"

"I'm going to bed," Sasuke interrupted curtly, before irritably marching up the stairs. He had said what he had to say. And it was probably best to leave before he did anything else that was dreadfully out of character – like speaking _another_ 20 sentences in continuous succession.

And god, how he hoped he _never_ had to sound like a parent again.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

2 hours later, one very tired and fed-up Uzumaki Naruto trudged up the stairs towards his 'new' and 'temporary' room. He had just finished a very unsatisfying meal of instant ramen (Sasuke wasn't food-less after all), and was now feeling rather annoyed because of it…

For some strange and inexplicable reason, the noodles didn't taste very nice that night… They almost tasted plain, boring – which was _impossible_ considering the fact that ramen _NEVER_ tasted plain and boring. And it hadn't even passed the expiry date – he had even bothered to check this time! So either something was _seriously_ wrong with his taste-buds, or…

The blonde didn't even want to _think_ about the possibilities. Maybe he was slowly losing his sense of taste… Or worse, maybe he was dying!! Gah – he was too young to die! He still hadn't become Hokage, nor gotten married, nor had his own super cute kids! And more importantly - he still hadn't broken the village record of 45.6 seconds for the fastest bowl of ramen ever consumed!!

_Gah – just how could life be so cruel?!?!_

So caught up within his deep and morbid musings, Naruto didn't even realise where he was walking until his head met resistance against a hard chest. Blue eyes blinked in confusion.

"Baka."

That voice… So _familiar_… Could it be… "Sa… suke?"

The blonde was dumbfounded. What was the dark-haired boy doing out of his room? Wasn't he meant to be asleep already?! He hadn't come out since he had stormed in after all, and that was a whole 120 minutes ago…! Maybe he was sleep walking (and talking) with both eyes open?

"Baka… I…" the Uchiha seemed hesitant, before ceasing speech altogether.

Naruto frowned suspiciously. This was certainly unexpected – the great Uchiha Sasuke actually speaking _before_ being spoken to… And now he was lost for words? And even though he _still_ didn't fully understand _why_, wasn't Sasuke meant to be _angry_ at him?

_So why was he talking to him now?_

"…Yes?"

"I… I'm sorry." The words were uttered softly and swiftly, and if Naruto had been anything _but_ a ninja, he would've almost certainly missed them. But fortunately (or unfortunately depending on your view) the smaller boy heard every single word, causing his mind to temporarily cease function.

"…You _WHAT_?!"

"I'm sorry… For shouting at you," the raven-haired boy muttered uncomfortably, as he hid his eyes behind his dark bangs.

The blonde stood transfixed, blue eyes dropped open in incredulity, as his mouth opened and closed in rapid succession. The whole sequence of action provided an uncanny resemblance to that of a dying fish. In fact, you could say that his breathing pattern also rivalled that of a fish deprived of water!

"And… Goodnight."

And before Naruto could even begin to _think_ up a suitable reply, the dark-haired boy promptly returned to the confines of his room, a small pink blush visible upon his pale features.

Blue eyes blinked in awed bewilderment. First Sasuke snaps and freaks out, then he _apologises_ (yes, Mr-I'm-always-right actually _apologised_…) And now… And now he _blushes_?! Just what the heck was going on?! Was he was having some sort of freaky dream?!

Or maybe…

Maybe Sasuke _actually_ cared more than he let on...?

Smiling softly at his new speculation as he entered his room, the blonde quickly shed his clothes and flopped down onto his new bed, eager to drift off into a deep sleep. He needed all the energy he could get for tomorrow…

He still had to talk to Tsunade-sama after all.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

The fifth Hokage rubbed her eyes wearily as she stared at all the overdue paperwork that lay hazardously before her. Great, _just great_ – what a _brilliant_ way to start the day… She sighed in exhaustion - the past few days had seemed more hectic than the past 3 years put together…! Not only did she have to contend with one Uchiha Sasuke in the middle of the night, but she also had to endure one of those annual board meetings that did nothing but reduce her diminishing will to live.

And pray, do tell… Just what the hell was so _good_ about being Hokage again?

Stifling a huge yawn, Tsunade-sama began her daily arduous task of rifling through mission orders, mission reports and other random bits and bobs. Unfortunately for her, there had been a sudden influx of missions over the past 2 weeks, of which the reasons are still unknown. More missions meant more work, which just meant more paperwork…

It was a cruel, cruel cycle.

'_Hmm… Another A-class mission… I think I'll leave it to the ANBU… B-class – village of sand? Maybe Shikamaru's team hmm… C-rank…? Maybe Moegi-chan… Ahh…'_

**Stomp, stomp, stomp!**

'_Arghh another A-rank… Aii, I can't deploy all the ANBU teams, in case of an emergency… Ehh – maybe Asuma-sensei won't mind an extra mission…'_

**Stomp, stomp-**

"Ahhh! N-Naruto-kun! You can't just barge in here!!"

The blonde-haired woman frowned amidst her broodings. Was that Shizune's voice?

**Stomp, stomp, stomp!**

And who the hell was making such a loud racket?

**Stomp! Crash!**

"DAMN YOU OLD HAG!!"

Tsunade sighed. What a stupid question.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke folded his arms unhappily as he watched an over energetic Naruto pounce onto Konoha's respected and prestigious leader. And to think that he had actually _tried_ to calm the baka down…

What a waste of valuable time.

"You hag! I can't believe you! How could you be so irresponsible?! Gahhh now my apartment's gone and I have nowhere to live! My apartment damn it! As in the place I've practically lived all my life - Gah, I can't believe you! Just because you're Hokage, it doesn't mean that you get to be such a…"

The dark-haired boy quickly tuned out the rest of the one-sided dispute. How was it possible for that stupid idiot's voice to be so damn aggravating?! And the fact that he didn't sleep properly the night before only made everything ten times worse…

Yeh, you heard right - he didn't manage to fall asleep - _once again_. Oh, but how he had tried! He still didn't understand what was going on – his body practically begged for rest, and yet his mind adamantly refused to cooperate… Instead, all he could do was lie awake and think about that cursed kiss between the moron and the old pervert… Over and over again…

Gah it was so damn _irritating_!

And what was the grand total now? 5 nights? 6 nights? 7 nights without sufficient sleep? The Uchiha couldn't even remember anymore… Everything was slowly becoming mixed up and hazy… Each day was gradually blurring onto the next…

And that was _definitely_ a bad thing, right??

"-And then yesterday, strange things happened and that moron pervert kissed me – actually kissed me on the lips! And that wouldn't have happened if I was in my own apartment, so damn you! This is all your fault you stupid old hag! I swear, I would soo sue you if I ever found a lawyer brave enough, and what about my money? Huh? I gave you money damn it, and you still let me down! Don't think I will forgive you, because I…"

Sasuke sighed wearily. At times like these, he wondered whether Naruto actually possessed an ounce of decent civility within him. Surely he knew that this wasn't an appropriate way to speak to someone of such high stature? The woman had enough power to kick him out of the village for god's sake! (and he meant that literally too)

"Wait, wait, wait…" Tsunade-sama finally spoke up, her face scrunched in confusion. "Who did you say kissed you?"

"Stupid Kaka-sensei!" Naruto practically growled, anger evident in his eyes. "The moron stole my first kiss! How dare he! I hate him – and it's all your fault! And he was disgusting – he cornered me in an alleyway while we were walking to the sushi place, and then he took my first kiss, and said that it was a present, and -"

"Hold on – and where was _Sasuke_ during this incident?" the Hokage interrupted, sending an icy death glare towards the dark-haired boy.

Sasuke gulped inwardly – Tsunade-sama sure looked pissed off. But _surely_ the baka wouldn't be as _stupid_ as to actually _say_ things to get him into troub-

"He was suffering from a nervous breakdown."

The Uchiha groaned. He forgot that this was _Naruto_ they were talking about. And there goes his slim hopes of ever getting out of the mission alive.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

20 minutes later found one pissed off and highly irritable Uzumaki Naruto pouting and tapping his foot impatiently outside the Hokage's office. Just what the hell was taking the two idiots so damn long anyway?! And what was so important that he had to leave the room for?! Was there some kind of conspiracy going on? After all, everyone _was_ kinda acting weird since he came back…

Especially that stupid sensei of theirs! Grr – just _thinking_ about that stupid old man was enough to make him shudder from head to toe!

"Damn you Kakashi-sensei!" the blonde muttered under clenched teeth. Not only did that stupidly annoying man steal his _very_ first kiss, but the moron was ALSO the cause of his sleepless night! (Then again, maybe the restlessness was partly to do with adapting to a new environment, but being Naruto, this factor didn't quite reach his stubborn logic.)

And it wasn't even _that_ good of a kiss anyway! He had expected his first kiss to be special, full of electrifying sparks… _And with a girl damn it_! But with the older man, he had felt nothing but plain shock and surprise. Yes, maybe Kakashi _was_ actually quite handsome under the mask, and yes, maybe he _was_ a decent kisser… (and his lips _were_ pretty soft…)

But damn it…! He was a _guy_!

Naruto sighed pitifully – he bet Sasuke didn't have to suffer all this misfortune with _his_ first kiss…

"Naruto! You can come in now!"

The blonde pouted - damn that Tsunade for treating him like a kid. This was all her fault.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Tsunade-sama fiddled with her blonde hair impassively, then sighed, while the boy known as Naruto launched into another one of his bothersome tirades. Gah – that boy could talk for Konoha damn it! Didn't he _ever_ need to breathe?!

"Hai, hai, I know I'm in the wrong, I'm sorry!" she sighed, effectively cutting off the steady stream of insults that poured from the blonde's mouth. "Just stay with Sasuke-kun for the time being, and I'll talk to the housing tenant to see if I can sort anything out… Ok?"

"No it's not ok, you…"

_Blah, blah, blah…_ The Hokage suppressed a yawn as her brain automatically filtered out the smaller boy's (rather creative) rant. It was a valuable skill that she picked up during her earlier years, while teaming with that pervert Jiraiya… (There was an annoying one in _every_ team!)

She idly wondered how the blonde and the old pervert _ever_ managed to survive with each other for so damn long – after all, listening to two times the useless babble _must_ be psychologically damaging…!

But focussing on more crucial things in hand, things were definitely starting to get a little more complicated. After hearing Sasuke's version of the events that happened the night before, she was positive that they were still missing a vital piece of the puzzle… But _what_ were they missing?

And _just_ how important was it?

To be honest, Kakashi's actions were a little odd, even when considering his erratic nature. Sure he was an idiot, unreliable, stupid and downright moronic at times, but the incident with Naruto just seemed a little too _surreal_… It just didn't seem normal – especially since there had never been any indications of sexual interest between the two in the past…

So could it be possible that he was under some kind of influence?

And the unexpected visit from both Sakura and Ino… How did the girls even _know_ where Naruto was staying? Apart from the silver-haired man, she was certain that she hadn't informed anyone else about the blonde's new and temporary residence…

But the fact that Naruto didn't pounce on the girls was a good sign, right? Or was that because the moon wasn't in its full phase last night? She could just about remember reading something about the intensity of the symptoms being somehow connected to the lunar cycle…

Did that mean that the effects be more compelling in light of the full moon?

(_"Blah blah, blah blah blah…"_ Naruto continued to yell.)

Tsunade frowned. Either way, Sasuke couldn't afford to jeopardise the assignment again - especially since it was obvious that more research was needed on the blonde's condition… Given that sending Naruto away for another 2 months was out of the question, she'd have to stick with the 'Babysitter-Sasuke' plan… And that meant that the Uchiha couldn't let the blonde out of his sight again, _especially_ at night…

A sudden evil grin appeared on the Hokage's lips. It couldn't be _too_ hard to get two boys, _together_, at _all_ times… So wasn't it fortunate that she _just_ happened to have the _perfect_ plan?

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Naruto had a feeling that the older woman wasn't listening to him. Actually – it was _more_ than a feeling…

It was an undeniable fact.

"Gah! You old hag! Didn't you know that it's rude to not listen when someone's talking?!" he yelled, oblivious to the fact that she _still_ wasn't listening. "You're so irresponsible! Argh – who was stupid enough to appoint you Hokage anyway?! You can't do NOTHING right!"

In his opinion, the day had just gotten 100 times worse. He had been hoping, no matter how foolish it seemed, that the whole apartment fiasco had been nothing but a big mistake. He wanted to go home! He wanted to sleep in his nice little bed! He wanted to leave the crazy world of the Uchiha house, where nothing but bad things seemed to happen to him!

He couldn't _possibly_ survive another day there!

Ok, maybe living with Sasuke wasn't _completely_ horrendous, but his sudden bouts of instability definitely left a lot to be desired. And the fact that Kakashi's eccentricity seemed to increase tenfold within the Uchiha mansion was actually quite worrying. And the girls? Well, he knew they were playing some kind of 'jealousy-mind-game' with Sasuke, but weren't they just taking it a little too far? He didn't want to be involved anymore - he couldn't cope with all the madness and confusion! He had never been good at those kinda games anyway…!

Naruto sighed pitifully. Maybe he could get a temporary apartment of his own? Or maybe stay at a hotel…?

"You don't have enough money, baka…" the dark-haired boy muttered.

The blonde paused mid-rant as impossibly blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Eh?"

"I said that you don't have enough money to stay in a hotel, baka…!"

Naruto frowned suspiciously, all thoughts of Tsunade-sama's apparent 'selfishness' forgotten. "How did you know that I was thinking of staying in a hotel?"

"You just said it out loud!" Sasuke sighed exasperatedly, as if he were talking to the stupidest person alive.

"No I never!"

"Yes you did! You mentioned a temporary apartment first, before considering staying in a hotel!"

"No I _never_!" the blonde denied vehemently.

"You said it, baka! I _heard_ you!"

Naruto's mind span furiously. He was _positive_ that he only _thought_ up the hotel idea while his mouth went on an insult auto mode. (Because contrary to popular belief, the blonde _was _capable of multitasking.) And since it was impossible to say two things at once…

"I said I never, and I never damn it!"

"Gah, do you _pretend_ to be stupid to piss me off?! Or is it just something you can't control?!"

"Shut up, you bastard!"

A sudden interruption by the Hokage abruptly brought the igniting argument to a grinding halt. "Give me your hands."

Naruto blinked in puzzlement as Sasuke stared ahead impassively. Hands? Why did she want their hands for? Weren't they meant to be discussing more important things, such as housing situations and the Uchiha's stupid attitude problem?

"Look I don't have all day..." Tsunade tapped her feet impatiently, as she held out both her hands. "Come on – one each. Doesn't matter left or right."

The blonde frowned suspiciously. A lot of damage could be done with one hand (especially _her_ hand), and terrifying (although unrealistic) scenes were already playing out in his head… Naruto gulped, before involuntarily taking 2 steps back…

Ahh, the wonders of an overactive imagination…

Sasuke continued to look uninterested.

"I'm not going to hurt you…" she trailed off into silence.

No one moved.

No one even _intended_ to move.

"Look…" a formidable vein popped on the Hokage's forehead. "Just give me your hands DAMN IT!"

Both boys stretched out their arms swiftly, although reluctantly. They had no idea what Tsunade-sama was up to, but it was probably best to follow her orders. A pissed off woman was not one to be taken lightly – especially one that could break through walls with her bare fists.

"Hmm… OK this is good…" the Hokage murmured softly to herself, once she examined both hands thoroughly. She then placed them gently on top of each other, causing Naruto and Sasuke to look at each other awkwardly.

Just why was the old hag making them hold hands for?!

But before they could fully ponder upon the subject, Tsunade began muttering a few inaudible words under her breath. Almost immediately, a light purple sheen began to form amidst their connected hands. It disappeared almost immediately after it appeared, so Naruto wasn't entirely sure whether it had just been real, or just a figment of his imagination…

But whatever it had been, he certainly didn't _feel_ any different.

"OK it's done!"

Two set of eyes blinked in puzzlement.

"What's done?"

The Hokage smiled sweetly before pointing towards their hands.

Both boys simultaneously began to scream.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

"I can't believe this!" Naruto half yelled, half spat in disgust as he stomped angrily upon the poor and undeserving ground. "I came all the way just to see that old hag, hoping to sort out my problems, and what happens? I end up with even more damn problems!! I tell you now – that… that _thing_ isn't qualified to hold the prestigious Hokage title! She's tainting it, making it - "

"Baka – stop walking so damn fast!" Sasuke muttered wearily, as he held his head in despair. For once, he wholeheartedly agreed with the moron. What Tsunade-sama did was totally despicable, absolutely _unforgivable_…

"Don't call me baka, you… you… BAKA!" the blonde yelled back intelligently, his fists clenched in anger. "This is all your fault!"

"How is it my fault?" the Uchiha retorted angrily. He was beginning to get irritated at the idiot's apparent lack of logic. "You're the one who can't take care of himself properly!"

"But… But you shouldn't have given her your damn hand!" Naruto shouted angrily, his face slowly reddening from lack of oxygen. Although he was exhibiting a rather irate demeanour, Sasuke could tell that the blonde was actually on the verge of tears. It was hard to dismiss those big, wobbling baby blue eyes, no matter how much he tried to ignore them…

The raven-haired boy sighed uncomfortably – seeing boys cry was a definitely a top no-no on his lists of no-no's. "Look, maybe if you just stay out of trouble, she'll see that her actions were unnecessary…"

"You make it seem as if I'm _looking_ for trouble!" Naruto shouted, infuriated once again. "It's not MY fault Kaka-sensei stole my first kiss!"

Sasuke glared dangerously. "Will you just shut up about the first kiss?"

"No! It's _my_ first kiss! I can complain if I want!"

The Uchiha growled softly under his breath – this 'Kakashi-sensei first kiss' thing was starting to become rather irksome. The first five rants were forgivable, but now it was just getting ridiculous… "Look, you moron, if you don't shut up I'm going to -"

Sasuke's next words were abruptly cut short, as Naruto suddenly fell to the floor, a bright blur of _something_ clenched tightly around his neck. The Uchiha sighed in dejection, before leaning closer to inspect the certain _something_ that was efficiently cutting off the blonde's air supply.

_Ino_.

Sasuke groaned in pure misery. Today just _wasn't_ his day.

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

"Naruto-kun…!" Ino squealed in happiness as she wrapped her arms tighter around her newly-found object of affections. Finally! After waiting for 3 whole hours outside the Uchiha's street, she _finally_ managed to encounter the boy of her dreams! After all, her foolproof logic was that he _had_ to go back _sometime_…

And the waiting was worth every minute, damn it!

"_I-nu… Camb… Breabe_…"

"I've missed you soo much!" the blonde girl continued, as she sighed and buried her nose deeper into the struggling boy's silky hair. _Hmm_… He smelled _so_ good… Like fresh blueberries mixed with just the right amount of natural musk and nature. Gah – surely it should be _illegal_ for someone to smell so damn _goood_…

"_In… (gasp) Breabe_…"

And his skin! It was so soft! And warm! And silky! God – just how could one person be so damn perfect?! And soo cute as well… And so love-

"I suggest that you remove your hands from the moron before he asphyxiates."

Ino blinked sluggishly as the sudden (cold) voice jarred her out of her affectionate and fluffy thoughts. That's when she noticed a bored-looking Uchiha Sasuke sitting on the ground next to Naruto-kun…. Next to _her_ Naruto-kun…

As in sitting way too _close_ next to HER Naruto-kun!

"Sasuke!" she glared, as her eyes narrowed evilly. "What are you doing here?"

As was with most love-struck people, common sense seemed to evade her… Hence the fact that Sasuke actually _lived_ at the Uchiha house naturally eluded her conscious. It was a common mistake after all.

"We're going home," the dark-haired boy answered dully, totally ignoring the fact that Naruto was now practically begging him for help. Dignity obviously had no value when oxygen was on the line.

"What do you mean, '_we're_?'" Ino asked suspiciously, immediately letting go of the blonde's neck to pointing accusingly at the Uchiha. The frantic bouts of coughing and gasping that followed (from Naruto) were collectively ignored.

"As in we're going home," Sasuke repeated, uninterestedly.

The blonde girl glared dangerously. How dare the arrogant bastard just _assume_ that he could control Naruto?! The blonde didn't _have_ to go back if he didn't want to! Who made _him_ the boss of everything anyway?!

And just when the hell did it start being Naruto's _home_?! _Home_ sounded much too _cosy_ and _affectionate_ for her liking!!

"Naruto-kun's going on a date with me!"

"No he isn't."

"YES HE IS!"

"No he isn't."

"YES HE IS!"

"No he isn-"

"Shut up Sasuke! Why are you always trying to break me and Naruto-kun up?! Can't you accept the fact that he likes me more or something?! He's mine damn it! Mine, mine, mine!"

The blonde girl continued to glare at the raven-haired boy, who in her opinion, was _still_ sitting _waay_ too close to Naruto for mutual comfort. Just what was going on anyway?! Wasn't the Uchiha meant to _hate_ human contact?!

So why the hell was he now suddenly being so touchy-feely?!

"…He still isn't going."

Ino glowered angrily. If that's the way Sasuke wanted to play it, then fine. Because 2 can play at that game… And she'd make sure that she'll _definitely_ get her date with Naruto by the end of the day… In fact, she will guarantee it.

_No. Matter. What._

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Sasuke glared.

Ino glared.

Naruto drooled.

The trio were currently situated outside the infamous Ichiraku's ramen stall, as one very happy blonde ogled his favourite food. It _was_ ramen after all, and considering the fact that our beloved idiot had been ramen deprived for 2 entire months, it was only natural to expect this sort of behaviour.

"I want a pork ramen… With extra pork… And extra ramen…" the blonde rubbed his hands together in glee, while he bounced up and down energetically in his seat. His prior kidnapping ordeal (Ino could be very unexpectedly forceful) seemed all but a distant memory…

But then again, as long as ramen was involved, almost _anything_ could be forgiven.

Sasuke increased the intensity of his glare.

To be honest, he didn't _what_ he was more pissed off about – was he angry because Naruto was acting like a complete and moronated prat? Or was it because of Ino's rather tenacious stalking tendencies?

Or maybe it was due to the ever-growing list of stupid situation that he _just_ happened to be forced into…?

The Uchiha growled softly. And another thing – just how was the stupid girl managing to resist his infamous death-glares?! She should've been twitching uncontrollably on the ground by now damn it!

"Stop following us!" Ino hissed softly over the top of Naruto's head, as her eyes narrowed into small slits. It was getting more and more obvious that she was getting rather pissed off with the whole situation. A 3-way date? Pah - the mere idea was completely absurd!

The dark-haired boy suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Yeh – like he _really_ wanted to follow them… As if he had _nothing_ better to do…

_Che – damn that Tsunade-sama! This was all her fault!_

"So guys, what are you having?" the smaller boy grinned his fox-like grin as he practically sprawled himself across the counter. You could almost see the words 'ramen, ramen and ramen' continually flow in and out of his brain.

Sasuke growled softly. How dare the idiot act so damn carefree?! _Especially_ considering their 'special' circumstance…!

"Naruto-kun… Can we go somewhere instead?" the blonde girl whined, once she finally realised that Sasuke had no intention of leaving them.

The smaller boy looked blank. "Eh? Why?" he asked in disbelief, as if eating anywhere BUT Ichiraku's was one of the vilest sins that could ever be committed.

"Because I don't like the company here…!"

"Eh?" the blonde whipped his head around a couple of times, quickly scanning the vicinity for suspicious-looking characters. "Who?"

"Him!" Ino pouted, before pointing at her former stalkee.

The Uchiha suppressed an overwhelming desire to choke on his own saliva. Funny how fickle things, such as feelings and emotions, changed and interchanged so curtly and abruptly. Gah – how he hoped that he'd _never_ fall in love…

It had to be the stupidest and most useless emotion that ever existed.

"Eh?" bright blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Sasuke? But I thought you liked Sasuke?"

"No!" Ino sighed exasperatedly, as she threw her arms up into the air. "Don't you realise he keeps following us?! He's like… like a stalker!"

This time, the dark-haired boy DID choke.

"Sasuke's not a stalker!" Naruto smiled cheerfully, unfazed by the fact that the most stalked person in the village was now being referred to as a stalker. "It's just that he has no choice but to follow me…"

The blonde girl frowned. "And why's that?"

"Because Tsunade-sama used this weird - …Ah thank you thank you! Hmm… Smells so nice… Itadakimasu!"

"Huh? Naruto-kun? Tsunade-sama used what?" Ino asked worriedly.

"Tsuna-hmff ummh ahuuu slurrrppp!"

The blonde girl blinked blankly, as she attempted to decipher the 'Naruto plus Ramen' talk… Which was a foolish act in itself, considering that even _Naruto himself_ couldn't decipher _his own_ special noodle-induced speech…

"Tsunade-sama used a seal on us," Sasuke interrupted impassively, once his less than cool coughing-fit subsided. He decided (while half choking) that it was probably much less of a hassle if he just explained the whole damn situation. After all - it was pointless to leave Naruto such an important task… Knowing the baka, he'd probably just somehow confuse everyone and make matters even worse…

"Seal? What seal?!" Ino screeched, her eyes wide and frantic.

The dark-haired boy winced painfully. _This_ was the reason why her and Naruto should _never_ ever even _consider _getting together… God – imagine the children! They'd be so damn annoying….! And their voices…!

_Gah – the horror!!_

"The seal prevents us from leaving each other," the Uchiha muttered weakly. "We're basically bound together with chakra."

"…?"

"Imagine a pair of imaginary handcuffs… if you will."

"…"

"I'll demonstrate."

Sasuke mumbled something inaudible under his breath (most probably an insult), before raising his right arm unenthusiastically, which just happened to be placed next to Naruto's left one. And almost as if choreographed, both adjacent arms simultaneously moved up at _exactly_ the same time.

Then down again.

Ino stared.

And up again.

Then down again.

Ino stared some more.

"…You're… _joking_… right?"

The raven-haired boy pulled his right arm back sharply, which almost sent the ramen-slurping blonde crashing to the floor. (Naruto's cries of protest were once again ignored.) Sasuke sighed inwardly – he _thought_ that he had made it _more_ than crystal _clear_ that he _wasn't_ one for telling jokes…

Were his efforts futile? Or were the people around him just _really_ stupid?

"…Well have you _tried_ getting away?!" Ino demanded hysterically, on the verge of a full blown panic attack. She made it sound as if being handcuffed to the most eligible bachelor in the whole of Konoha was a _bad_ thing.

The Uchiha glared spitefully.

"Omph we tried…!" Naruto confirmed seriously, once he finally swallowed his entire bowl of ramen in one gulp - soup, noodles, pork and all. It was a miracle that he didn't choke and prematurely die in the process. "But it doesn't work!"

Sasuke suppressed the urge to thump the moron. "Of course it didn't work baka, or why else would we still be stuck like this?"

"Shut up Sasuke! This is your fault!"

"My fault? You're the one that got molested!"

"I was NOT molested! It was my first kiss damn it!"

"Will you just shut up about the first kiss-"

"NO I WON'T!" Naruto yelled furiously, obviously not caring if the whole of Konoha heard his rant. "IT WAS **MY** FIRST KISS! AND I CAN CRY IF I WANT TO!"

And like a catalyst within a violent chemical reaction, a vein immediately popped upon the dark-haired boy's forehead. "First kiss, first kiss… FOR THE LAST TIME, SHUT UP ABOUT THE FUCKING FIRST KISS!" he roared heatedly, all thoughts of where he was or what he was doing completely wiped from his brain. The Uchiha was obviously more than a _little_ pissed off.

Blue eyes blinked in blatant shock.

"ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING?!" Sasuke continued angrily, seemingly unconcerned as almost half the village paused to watch and stare. But who could blame them? It wasn't everyday that the infamous sullen Uchiha Sasuke started shouting and swearing down the street…

"**I** WAS YOUR FIRST KISS DAMN IT, AND DON'T YOU **EVER** DARE FORGET IT!"

-x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x- -x-

Ok I hope this didn't suck too much. I'm still getting back into the hang of writing :p my stupid brain's gone soft!! But at least I tried, eh?? I promise the next chapter will have more **SasuNaru** moments in! What do you guys think? Or is that too soon??

OK guys – you know the drill! Read and review! And I'll love you forever :D (and I'll write faster, hint hint!!)

p.s. I know Sasuke's meanna be a bastard right now in the anime, but I haven't watched it yet due to work and everything, and everyone says I _will_ hate him… But… BUT I DON'T WANT TO!! _(cries)_ I wanna lub him and Naru-chan forever and ever… (_blubs away)_


	5. Temptation

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto. But I _do_ own a Sasuke-plush!  
**Title**: Hot blooded - chapter 4: Temptation  
**Author**: Purrfectly679 - e-mail for comments and suggestions, and for mailing list enquiries. Feedback highly appreciated.  
**Rating**: R, bad language, sarcasm, Naru x , SasuNaru, KakaNaru, InoNaru, SakuNaru  
**Notes**: Wah I haven't been on fanfiction for 3 months – blame my evil evil uni. I failed my first term, so had to knuckle down and work hard! See – I have an excuse! (cough)

And I got excited once I saw the new rating system – even though its very confusing. I thought that maybe we could have some MA fics, but oh well… guess not. (sob)

Thank you to **everyone** who's ever written me a review. They really cheered me up and encouraged me to continue writing - I love u guys!

Other sides notes – welcome back **GWfascination**! And to **Kyuubi-kun** – too much caffeine is bad! To **freakofimagination** – love the review! Hehe! Gah – now I've gotta start my maths revision… (sigh)

xxxxxxxxxxxxx-

"_**I** WAS YOUR FIRST KISS DAMN IT, AND DON'T YOU **EVER** DARE FORGET IT!"_

xxxxxxxxxxxxx-

Ino stared.

Naruto stared.

The whole of Konoha bloody stopped and stared.

"…"

"……"

"...?...**!"**

"…Er… Uh…?" the blonde boy mumbled dazedly, effectively breaking the uncomfortable stillness that had somehow descended upon the entire village. Ten extra seconds of tense silence ensued, before frantic whispers of '_What the fuck!_' '_Did I just hear right_?' and '_When did Naruto get so hot!'_ echoed not-so-quietly throughout the crowd.

Naruto blushed faintly at the crowds' comments, before clearing his throat in mild embarrassment. "Uhm… Ano… Sa- Sasuke?"

The poorly concealed whispers and mutterings instantly stopped, as everyone within a 2-mile vicinity simultaneously held their breaths. It seemed as if _everyone_ wanted to witness the outcome of this strange new development, and who could blame them? Not only did the renowned 'stoic' Uchiha Sasuke just lose his 'infamous' cool, but he also managed to scream about his 'forgotten first kiss' down the street in a mini-state of hysteria (with absolutely no regard to his surroundings)…

And all on one day too.

After a few more tense moments of pure, suffocating silence (where even the _birds_ seemed to shut up and stare) the blonde began to feel rather uneasy. In normal circumstances, he might've enjoyed this sudden mass-attention thrown his way, but as his gaze flickered hesitantly between a shock-frozen Ino and his (blushing) former rival, he couldn't help but feel (for perhaps the first time in his life) completely and utterly lost.

He was confused, he knew that much… In fact, that was probably the _only_ thing he was sure of. Even the strange (and horrifying) events concerning Sakura-chan, Ino and Kakashi-sensei failed to perplex him _this_ much…

And just what the hell had gotten into Sasuke anyway? Shouting down the street like a deranged idiot, acting like some _jealous_ fool –

No, wait… That couldn't be right. The blonde almost slapped himself at his own stupidity. There's no way that Sasuke could've been _jealous_! For God's sake, it was _the_ _Uchiha_ we were talking about! Jealous – Ha! The mere idea was _completely_ and _utterly _absurd -

"We're going."

It took Naruto exactly 5 seconds before he realised that the Uchiha had finally spoken. And to him nonetheless.

"…Kah?" the blonde asked intelligently, his mind still (and rightfully so) trapped within a whirlwind of confuddlement.

"I said we're going. _Now_."

Blue eyes blinked stupidly at the quiet tone of the Uchiha's voice – it was such a contrast to his earlier outburst that he had to actually strain his ears to hear the words clearly. Then again, the effort wasn't _completely_ unexpected, especially considering that half of the village were now eavesdropping upon their not-so-private conversation, and breathing _very_ loudly while at it.

Che – villagers these days. You'd think that they'd _at least_ have the courtesy of being unobtrusive while prying into other people's business.

"…Uhm, but you haven't eaten - "

"I don't care," Sasuke muttered through clenched teeth. "We're going, _now_."

Naruto shrugged – as long as he got to eat his ramen, he didn't really care. Yes, he _was_ still baffled by the whole situation, but he figured that it would probably be smarter (and safer) if they talked somewhere _slightly _more private…

Smiling somewhat sheepishly at the boy that was invisibly attached to his wrist, he paid the frozen man by the counter, before letting the Uchiha lead the way.

"Ne, Sasuke…" the blonde asked awkwardly, once they were both out of imminent hearing range. "Are we… er… just going to leave Ino there?"

"Yes."

"But… Uh… She looks…" Naruto squirmed uncomfortably – he didn't really _like_ Ino to be honest, but he didn't really want to leave her there either. After all, it _was_ her idea to get ramen in the first place, so he did _kinda_ owe her… "Shouldn't we, er… you know… Take her to the hospital?"

"No."

The blonde sighed – he really _hated_ it when Sasuke was in his stupid monosyllabic 'yes-no' mode. It always made him feel as if he had done something sinfully wrong. And apart from the fact that they were now irrevocably joined together, he was almost _certain_ that he hadn't done or said anything else that could be considered offensive towards the other boy…

At least for that day anyway.

"Uhm…" Naruto faltered nervously. As much as he hated arguing with the dark-haired boy, sometimes some things just had to be said and done… "But I think she might be suffering from shock… or something…"

If truth be told, the blonde wasn't really expecting a reply, so when the Uchiha actually stopped walking, turned and faced him, it was almost _impossible_ to prevent the look of utter surprise that graced his features.

"Why do you care about her so much?" Sasuke half muttered, half growled, as black eyes flashed dangerously in the sunlight.

Naruto gulped timidly. "But she's - "

"Do you like her?"

Blue eyes once again blinked cluelessly. What was the Uchiha on about now! First he goes all 'yes-no' upon him, and now he's asking completely irrelevant and pointless questions!

Just what the hell was _wrong_ with him!

"I said do you like her?" the dark-haired boy repeated impatiently, once he realised that the blonde had once again ventured off into la-la land.

"What the hell Sasuke! Are you feeling - "

"_Just answer the damn question!"_

Both boys were obviously getting annoyed now, and electricity crackled in the air like a thunderbolt ready to strike.

"NO!"

"Is that a no, you don't like her? Or a no, you won't answer?"

"Does it matter!" Naruto threw his arms up in the air in exasperation – not really meaning anything by it… But unfortunately, his action inadvertently caused Sasuke's arm to _also_ go up, which (of course) caused the Uchiha to inevitably lose his balance…

And, carrying on with the concept of inevitability, the raven-haired boy (as expected) somehow managed to fall right on top of the blonde…

Between his legs to be exact.

And with his free hand _somehow_ positioned upon Naruto's groin.

But before the two could even _begin_ to get comfortable with their new 'arrangement,' a loud scream immediately reverberated across the village, effectively halting their proceedings.

"…I guess she wasn't _really_ in shock," Naruto murmured nonchalantly, trying to hide his blush once he felt Sasuke's warm hand hastily leave his crotch. "I mean… She _can_ still scream after all…"

"…Hn."

"Actually…" the blonde squinted from his position under the dark-haired boy. "Uhm… Actually, I think she's fainted."

Sasuke sighed heavily. "Baka, look around you..."

And for the first time in his life, Naruto did not scream or yell his disapproval at being referred to as an idiot. And why was that?

"…Ah. I see."

Simply because_ everyone_ had fainted.

xxxxxxxx-

It had not been Sasuke's intention to grope the other boy… In fact, groping the blonde had been the last thing on his mind – especially in front of a massive crowd of (now unconscious) people! Admittedly, he had always beencurious whether Naruto had a valid 'reason' for being so 'cocky' and arrogant all the time – I mean, all that testosterone _had_ to come from _somewhere_! But being curious did _not_ mean that he actually _wanted_ to find out! Nope, if there was one thing Sasuke was certain about, it was that he _absolutely_ did _not_ want to grope the blonde.

_At all._

It was almost as bad as kissing him.

And yet, as the two walked home in somewhat companionable silence, the Uchiha's mind began to wander… And we all know how dangerous wandering minds were.

The first thing he realised was that he had actually enjoyed it – not so much the grope, but more of the feeling of a warm pliant body below his… (OK the grope was good too, but Sasuke wasn't going to admit that.) Naruto's skin was deceptively soft and firm at the same time, while his body was hard, yet yieldable… It was such a complimented contradiction, yet somewhat natural at the same time… Almost like… Like…

_Like steel wrapped in velvet…_

The second thing that he realised was that the usual feelings of disgust that accompanied _any_ positive thoughts about the blonde were surprisingly absent. In other words, he didn't feel repulsed by the fact that he had actually _enjoyed_ the close physical contact. But being the perceptive genius that he was, Sasuke concluded that he _only_ felt that way because the whole thing had been nothing but an accidental mistake…

It wasn't as if he _wanted_ to fall on top of Naruto – nope, not at all.

Therefore, it only made sense that it was _completely_ acceptable for him to enjoy it, as long as he didn't _want_ it.

And he _definitely_ didn't want it.

(In case you're wondering, denial was not in the Uchiha dictionary.)

"Ne, Sasuke…"

Black eyes blinked dazedly as Naruto's voice brought him crashing back into reality. In his deep musings, he had almost forgotten that the other boy was walking alongside him – which was stupid really, considering the fact that the two were practically handcuffed together.

"What?" he muttered monotonously – playing the part of 'the bored Uchiha with a stick up his ass' perfectly. There was no way that he was going to give Naruto the satisfaction of knowing just _how_ much that little incident had affected his thoughts.

"Er…" Naruto halted mid-step, which in turn jerked Sasuke to a standstill.

The Uchiha groaned inwardly, before turning around to face the smaller boy with a look of extreme annoyance plastered over his face. He was tired, he was frustrated, he had all sorts of weird thoughts rushing through his head and he wanted to go home. And who the hell could blame him? It had been a bloody long, _long_ day…

"Yes?" he asked, exasperatedly. "What now? You've forgotten something again?"

Blue eyes blinked in confusion. "Er…"

"Let me guess, you've forgotten my name?" the dark-haired boy muttered sarcastically, unable to restrain himself, even as he mentally kicked himself for saying something so ridiculously pathetic.

He almost sounded… _jealous_.

"…Sasuke, are you still angry about the whole first kiss thing?" Naruto asked quietly, as he stared guiltily at the ground. Who knew that the blonde could be so intuitive when he needed to be? "Because I didn't forget… I just thought that it didn't count, since we were both 12 and everything…"

"It _didn't_ count," the Uchiha snapped, now angry at himself for feeling angry, and for voicing his idiotic thoughts in the first place.

"Uhm… Right…"

"And walk faster, I want to go home."

"Ah… Ok…"

Sasuke scowled to himself. It seemed like Naruto didn't care after all…

xxxxxxxx-

Almost 2 hours managed to pass by steadily before the two boys encountered another conflict of opinions. By this time, Sasuke had considerably calmed down from his earlier temper tantrum, which was most definitely a blessing for the blonde.

Not that the blonde would've cared either way.

"Sasuke…" Naruto murmured in a low tone, his bright blue eyes shining eerily in the dim light. After losing many verbal battles during the course of the day, there was no way he was going to lose this one. He was going to win this – no, he _had_ to win this, no matter what the consequence.

His pride depended on it.

"No." The Uchiha's reply was short and curt.

"Sasuke, you have no choice."

A tense pause.

"No."

The blonde growled softly under his breath. Why was Sasuke making everything so bloody difficult! He was supposed to be the mature one, damn it! "Look, let's talk like reasonable adults here-"

"No," the dark-haired boy interrupted stubbornly, before taking a step back away from the smaller boy.

Naruto glared in mild irritation, before forcefully pulling the resisting boy up the stairs. And for the first time that day, Naruto was glad that they were bound by a seal rather than anything physical – at least it didn't hurt his wrist this way.

"Let go of me!"

"Sasuke, stop being so immature!" the blonde muttered through clenched teeth, even as he struggled to drag the Uchiha's unresponsive weight behind him. Just when did the boy get so fat anyway! God he weighed a ton! "You know we have to address this issue sooner or later…"

The Uchiha yanked his arm back abruptly, causing the two boys to halt unsteadily upon the top of the stairs.

"I said no, and I mean no!"

The smaller boy glared in exasperation.

"But we _need_ to talk this through!"

"No we don't!"

"Sasuke…" Naruto's voice wavered warningly.

"Leave me alone damn it!"

"Fine!" the blonde exploded, his anger finally getting the better of him. "I'm gonna piss right here then! All over the stairs and all over you!"

The dark-haired boy raised an eyebrow as his expression remained nonchalant and blank. "You wouldn't dare…"

Naruto grinned evilly.

2 seconds later, an unnaturally loud scream reverberated through the whole of Konoha.

xxxxxxx-

Sasuke was furious. He had never been so angry - so _humiliated_ before in all his entire life. Even when considering that one (preferably forgotten) incident concerning 40 odd fangirls, candy floss and his pikachu pj's… Yes, that little episode _could_ be described as rather embarrassing, but the shame he felt then was _nothing_ compared to the shame he felt right now…

He just couldn't believe it – he _wouldn't_ believe it… He couldn't accept the fact that the moron would do such an atrocious, repulsive and disgusting thing… Hell – how could _anyone_ do such an atrocious, repulsive and disgusting thing!

Oh the horror! He couldn't even admit it to himself…! But how could he! How could he admit to himself that… _that_…

_That the blonde baka had just pissed all over him?_

"I'm sorry," murmured a small voice.

Sasuke ignored the smaller boy as he angrily stripped down to his boxers, unconsciously relieved that the seal didn't hinder his clothing removal process. He didn't care anymore – damn him, damn Tsunade, and damn the entire fucked up situation.

"But I did warn you… I really _did_ need the toilet…"

The Uchiha forcefully threw himself into the shower, not caring nor bothering whether the blonde followed willingly or not. Still overwhelmed by his fierce anger, the dark-haired boy turned on the scalding hot water, before viciously attacking his body with the first thing he saw, which just happened to be strawberry scented shower gel…

_Naruto's_ strawberry scentedshower gelto be exact.

"…Want me to help?"

Sasuke found that ignoring the smaller boy became slightly easier over time – maybe his brain had somehow evolved, and was now managing to block out the moron's voice? Or, more likely, maybe his ear drums had finally self destructed due to the excessive torture inflicted upon them…? In fact, it was actually relatively easy to forget that he _wasn't_ alone, especially with the water pounding oh-so-loudly in his ear…

That is…

Until…

"What the fuck!" Sasuke spun around, his eyes wide and dilating, as he furiously fought (unsuccessfully) to keep his violent blush down. Why the hell was Naruto touching… no, _stroking_ him like that! Damn it, didn't the idiot know that the action itself was _very_ VERY inappropriate, not even considering the fact that they were _both_ guys!

And just why the hell did he suddenly feel so damn hot?

…

That's when he realised…

"…What the FUCK…!"

Heh.

Naruto truly _did_ deserve his reputation for being unpredictable.

xxxxxx-

Naruto blinked owlishly as Sasuke entered into what he liked to call '_the seizure zone'_ – a rare type of event that occurred only once in a blue moon…

…Except, it had already happened 3 times in the past 2 days.

Blue eyes widened in concern and apprehension as the dark-haired boy once again glowed bright red, the core characteristic of '_seizure zone stage 1_.' And even though he had seen it all before, the fact that it was actually _possible_ for someone to closely resemble a tomato (without dying in the process) still highly amazed him.

Surely the colour-changing procedure_ couldn't_ be healthy…

As anticipated, '_seizure zone stage 2'_ followed shortly – with Sasuke spluttering incoherently under his breath for a couple of seconds… Naruto wasn't _entirely_ sure, but he thought that he might've heard 'kill' 'dumb blonde' and 'die, die, die!' within the muddle of inaudible ramblings…

Then came the inevitable explosion.

"For fuck's sake, put some clothes on damn it!"

Completely unfazed by the flustering boy's outburst (immunity was bliss), the blonde merely frowned in confusion – they were showering, right? Now why would any sane person shower with their clothes on?

"Ne, Sasuke… You should take off your pants too. They're getting wet…"

The raven-haired boy began muttering and mumbling disjointedly to himself again, while Naruto looked on uncomfortably. He had a strange feeling that the Uchiha was arriving closer and closer towards another mental breakdown, although he couldn't _possibly_ understand why… After all, it wasn't as if there _were_ any obvious causes and justifications for his sudden outlandish behaviour…

Maybe the poor boy was just born unstable.

"Listen to me…" Sasuke groaned pitifully, after a moment's hesitation, with what seemed like a hint of desperation within his voice. "Would you… please… just _please – _Put. Some. Clothes. On!"

"But how am I supposed to shower with clothes on?" the blonde asked curiously, as he unsuccessfully tried to catch the other boy's eye. Maybe the Uchiha had a fever? He did seem to be rambling, and spewing a lot of nonsense recently. In fact, now that he thought about it, the usually pale boy _did_ look unusually flushed, even amidst the '_tomato-replication-no-jutsu_'…

"Sasuke!" the smaller boy gasped loudly, as if he had just reached a new revelation (which he did.) "Are you _ill_!"

And Naruto, being Naruto, immediately threw himself at the suddenly panic-stricken boy, and began to frantically check his temperature and pulse. He then continued with another series of completely platonic actions that (unfortunately) involved a lot of touching, causing the usually stoic boy to suddenly hyperventilate.

And it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Sasuke…?" Naruto's voice betrayed his apprehension and uncertainty, as the raven-haired boy rapidly changed from a bright red to a deep blue. Blue eyes immediately lit up in wonderment – after all, it wasn't as if you stumbled upon a real-life human chameleon _every_ day!

But unfortunately for the blonde, the little colour-changing display ended soon after.

"Ne, Sasuke…" Naruto murmured softly, once the Uchiha's breathing gradually slowed down and returned to (somewhat) normal. "I think…" he paused hesitantly, unsure as to whether he should continue with his train of thought. In any case, he was almost certain that the other boy wouldn't be happy with what he wanted to say…

But they were friends, right? And friends _had_ to be honest with each other…

"I think… Uhmm…" It was his _duty_ damn it! And if he didn't say it, then who will!

"I think you might have… a… er… slight mental problem…"

The next 10 seconds of pure silence that followed his statement had to be the most uncomfortable 10 seconds that Naruto had ever endured. Had he gone too far in his assumptions? Maybe… Maybe _normal_ people acted that way! Maybe _normal_ people showered with their clothes on, and turned into pretty (although unnatural) colours? Furthermore, maybe _everything_ the blonde _thought_ was _normal_, was in fact _abnormal_, and maybe he just somehow never knew, and –

"I. Do. Not. Have. A. Mental. Problem."

Blue eyes flickered from left to right leisurely, as if to say '_Yeh right. Sure. Whatever you say Sasuke_.'

"In fact, the only problem that I see here… is you."

"…Me?" the blonde asked in genuine surprise, as he looked himself up and down, sincerely trying to understand just _what_ the '_problem'_ was.

"Yes, you," Sasuke muttered coldly, still refusing to look the smaller boy in the eye. "Now will you please put some clothes - "

The Uchiha never _did_ get to finish his words, as – you guessed it – Naruto suddenly tackled him out of the shower, and '_smack'_ onto the ground.

xxxxxxxx-

Sasuke stared up in shock, as he lay flat on his bathroom floor, with a pair of bright blue eyes smirking above him. So preoccupied with the mass of incoherent thoughts that rushed disorderly through his mind, the Uchiha didn't even realise that he was once again caught in the _same_ precarious position that had left him hot and breathless the first 2 times round.

In fact, his entire body appeared to have seized up, leaving him with seemingly no control of anything but his lungs.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun…" cooed a silky voice that _was _and_ wasn't_ Naruto's, causing black eyes to widen in a mixture of agony and trepidation as realisation slowly sunk in. The blonde was in _that_ form… Again. And the dark-haired boy _knew_ that when Naruto was in _that_ form, nothing good could ever possibly come out of it.

"Am I… _Less_ of a problem now?"

The Uchiha suppressed a flinch at the suggestive tone of the other boy's voice. Damn the idiot and his stupid sex-changing jutsu! Just what kinda moron actually spends their time developing such useless and pathetic skills anyway! It wasn't as if… they _ever_ actually… _worked_…

"You know, Sasuke-_kun_…" the voice was too high, too sweet, too soft… "If you had a problem with my body, you should've said so in the first place…"

And this time, the raven-haired boy _did_ flinch, especially as a set of pink lips and smirking blue eyes slowly descended lower and lower…

"Because if you told me," the blonde whispered huskily, breathily. "Maybe I would've changed earlier… _For your benefit_…"

The Uchiha shivered inwardly, before idly wondering whether Naruto was really as innocent and as stupid as he seemed. He could distinctively feel the smaller boy's breath rise and fall against his bare skin, and to his utter embarrassment, he could feel another part of him _rise_ in anticipation.

Damn his stupid teenage hormones, damn it!

"Ne, Sasuke…?" the grinning boy on top shifted slightly, causing an unwanted gasp to escape from the dark-haired boy. It was now painfully obvious that the naked body rubbing sensually _against_ him, _around_ him, _all across _and_ over_ him was making the Uchiha _more_ than a little hot and bothered. He _knew_ that his heart was racing beyond what was termed 'healthy' – he could _feel_ the blood pounding against his ribcage - and the mortifying thing was, he _knew_ that Naruto could feel it too…

He nervously wondered whether the blonde could feel the hard thing that had suddenly developed down below as well…

He fervently prayed that he didn't.

Gathering what little dignity he had left, Sasuke nervously moved his arms to extract himself out from under the smirking blonde, only to find –

'**SLAM'**

…that he couldn't.

Despite his uncertainty with the whole situation, the Uchiha glared.

"What the hell are you doing?" he muttered gruffly, a little pissed off that Naruto seemed to be enjoying himself a little _too_ much at his expense. And how dare the blonde pin him to the ground like this? He wasn't… wasn't someone to be pinned damn it!

"I like it like this…" Naruto answered sweetly, as he buried his face into the crook of the dark-haired boy's neck – somewhat resembling a cat that had gotten both the cream AND the canary. "Why…? Don't you?"

Sasuke suppressed a violent shudder as the smaller boy's lips brushed tantalisingly against his bare skin.

"No I don't," he croaked out desperately, even though his body protested otherwise. He could now feel the soft swell of Naruto's breasts pushing firmly against his chest, and it took all his willpower to remain outwardly calm and collected.

Never mind that his insides were screaming in both agony and frustration.

"Well… I like it…" the blonde murmured softly, causing another bout of unwanted shivers to race through the Uchiha. He could once again feel his body responding against his will, and idly wondered why the gods were being so cruel. Being 'handcuffed' to the blonde was torture enough (in more ways than one), and now _this_?

Damn it – why did _all_ his first intimate experiences have to involve the baka!

"So can we… please… just… stay like… this…"

Sasuke panicked as Naruto suddenly released his wrists and collapsed on top of him, words ceasing in the process. A soft gasp immediately left the Uchiha's lips as the blonde's leg rubbed enticingly against his now evident arousal.

'_Oh shit fuck… He must've felt that…!' _

"N-Naruto, I can e-explain…" Sasuke's voice cracked in desperation, although he wasn't sure exactly _how_ he was going to explain his little problem. Or his _not-so-little_ problem. Could he blame it on hormones? Was that even a valid excuse!

"Hmm …"

The raven-haired boy sweatdropped as the blonde's murmur slowly trailed off into soft snores.

It seemed as if Naruto had fallen asleep.

xxxxxxx-

The first thing that Sasuke realised was that the gods weren't so mean after all – he _did_ manage to get away without having to explain his pervertedness in the end, which was definitely a good thing…

The second thing he realised was that a sleeping Naruto was not a very useful one (apart from the blessed silence it provided), and this fact was especially true when he just so happened to be 'joined' to the idiot. In fact, the Uchiha found that it was almost impossible for him to do _anything_ without the blonde's conscious co-operation.

Which was, if course, all that damn Tsunade-sama's fault.

The third thing he noticed was that the blonde was a deep sleeper. A _very_ deep one. As in all the shouting and screaming in the world probably wouldn't wake him. Water didn't seem to have any effect either.

And so, it was a very sad Uchiha Sasuke that tucked one unconscious Uzumaki Naruto into bed that early afternoon.

The fourth thing he realised was that he himself hadn't slept in 2 days. And that he too was extremely tired – especially after all the hell the blonde has put him through in the past 2 days. And since he was going to be temporarily incapacitated for the next few hours anyway, it would only make sense if he got some sleep too, right?

Which lead to the final and most horrendous realisation – the fact that they would have to sleep in the _same_ bed.

Normally, Sasuke wouldn't be caught dead in the same bed as the world's most annoying ninja – it was _Naruto_ for god's sake! And during the rare occasions where the two _did_ share a single room as a result of team assignments, it was an unspoken rule that one boy got the bed, and the other got the floor.

But as the Uchiha took account of their current situation, he realised that their traditional and effective arrangement was now out of the question. He did consider moving another bed into the same room, but quickly discarded the idea as soon as he remembered the blonde's comatose state.

As expected, Sasuke started bitching and whining (it _was_ Naruto after all), only to remember that no one was listening to him, and so rapidly ceased his complaints. Sighing in annoyance, the Uchiha quickly dressed the naked girl-boy in a set of his spare non-pikachu pyjamas, while blushing furiously in the process.

He was just relieved that the moron was still in his stupid jutsu – he didn't think his mind could possibly handle a naked _male_ Naruto.

And as he settled into bed with the blonde (keeping a respectful distance between them of course) Sasuke wondered just how the hell he was actually _meant_ to sleep with someone lying so close to him. The feeling was foreign, alien - not exactly _bad_, but the fact that it was Naruto definitely needed getting used to…

And so, the dark-haired closed his eyes with a heavy sigh, not really expecting to get any rest but trying for the sake of trying anyway…

He just hoped that Naruto didn't expect them to snuggle.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hmm… Wasn't too bad was it? (looks around wearily) Writing after not writing for 3 months is pretty damn hard. Words just don't seem to string together properly anymore (sob)

I will try to write more, more frequently, although it really does depend on my exam results.

Grr…. A word of advice - engineering is a stupid degree! Avoid at all costs!

And as always (smiles happily again) please review :) x x

(Btw I think Sasuke's going to crack in the next chapter – _cough hint nudge wink_)


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